I find it extremely insightful to observe the difficulty some people have in receiving an
acknowledgement. A lump swells in their throat, their palms begin to sweat, tension rises in their neck and they become fidgety. They also begin to misread the
acknowledger by silently asking themselves questions. “Are they lying?” “How am I to believe them?” “What do they want?” Or, "I am not
worthy of this."
By giving an
acknowledgement the feelings are sometimes pretty much the same. The
acknowledger doubted what they wanted to say and questioned whether it was appropriate to give the
acknowledgement. “They won’t believe me.” “
I’ll sound stupid.”
When was the last time you acknowledged or validated yourself? Or acknowledged or validated someone else? Funny thing is many of us seem to believe that this beautiful gift is not important. Why is this so? Because many of us have never experienced many acknowledgements growing up, so it doesn’t come naturally. And because we haven’t experienced many acknowledgements growing up, they sound foreign to us. This leaves us neither knowing how to give nor receive a simple yet powerful tool.
Here’s what others’ acknowledgements and validations can look like:
- Having someone endorse you when you are afraid to forge ahead.
- Focusing on your strengths when all you see are your weaknesses.
- Wanting a better way for you when you find it hopeless.
- Holding your vision high when you are down.
- And recognizing your talents and accomplishments when you are blind to see them.
These aforementioned statements can be something unknown to most of us, yet it is a gift that will move someone into action.
A simple acknowledgement is a way to bring out the best in others. It is a way to shed the darkness to reveal the light so that they can see their true and unlimited potential, and to give them strength and courage as they are cheered on through their endeavours.
As an acknowledger, you are sharing something extremely precious and invaluable. There is not enough gold or diamonds on the planet that will bring that sense of empowerment, warmth and love to someone’s heart as they grow in acceptance towards this gift.
Don’t wait for someone to acknowledge you either. Begin acknowledging your strengths, talents, character, emotions, feelings, attributes, skills and all the things you’ve done in your life to help, encourage, support and love yourself and others.
Also remember to embrace your weaknesses, awkwardness, vulnerabilities, dislikes or disheartened relationships. By
embracing your dark side, you begin to heal yourself with the power of love and self-acceptance. You also
acknowledge the completeness of who you are. By
acknowledging the completeness of who you are, you begin to see yourself as already perfect and whole just the way you are.
“You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them,
but by building a fire within.”
[Bob Nelson]
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