Monday, June 27, 2016

TO BE: The Discovery of Two Personalities: Is it Science or Spirituality

The Discovery of Two Personalities
Is it Science or Spirituality?
by Desiree Leigh Thompson

Surreal Experience of Beauty 

I had an experience, a few years back, when my personalities split. In this post, I will use the term 'split' since it can make it more visually clear as you continue reading, whether or not this is the correct verb.  In the scientific community, which I belong since I am in university, they may say that it was dissociation that I experienced.  In the spiritual world, which I belong since I was a metaphysical minister, they may call it experiencing my higher Self and understanding that the greater Self is much bigger and more majestic than the personas we carry in the physical world.  It was the most odd and confusing situation in the moment, yet it was the most beautiful and a very surreal experience.

Time Slowed Down to Reveal 2 Personas

It was a moment when time slowed down. When I split, two personalities surfaced, and I sat in the middle.  It was distinctively clear that there were 3 of us. One on the left, which I will call my dark side, and one on my right, which I will call my light side (even though these are simplified terms) and then me in the middle.  What felt unusual is that I was them, yet I wasn't, and this is exactly how I referred to them.  They were me, my personalities, but they weren't me, my existence.

My Witness

I wasn't alone. I was with my therapist, so I had a witness regarding who I, me in the middle, was talking to. After the split, I could clearly see that these personalities existed within me. They weren't physically there, and yet I could look at them and see them in some strange way. I could feel their strong presence. They were separate from me, but they embodied me completely. They lived, we lived, together, yet the two personas, one on the left and one on the right, and all around me, didn't seem to like each other much; they tolerated each other.

Bringing the 2 Together

As I sat in this experience, I was coherent and alert, however, my therapist seemed to be in a far distance, like the shutter of a camera narrowing the view. In the moment, I didn't know what the real reason for the experience was.  All I know is that when my therapist asked me, cannot these two live together and why do they have to be separate, I felt a little dazed and disoriented.  First, I never considered I had two personas within me, and, second, I guess experiencing this split was more of a shock and then an awakening.

My Healing Process

I don't want to make this post lengthy, and I will talk about this experience more in my up and coming book, however, I can tell you what I felt after.  Before my healing process, I had erratic emotions. My behavior was always up and down and all around like a roller coaster. My choices were poor and everything was based on emotion.  I started the healing process out of sheer exhaustion. During the healing process, and because of this split, I was able to see that two other people lived within me. These personas had risen so that I could survive life: the childhood sexual traumas and rapes, but, in life as a mature adult, they were only interfering and making things complicated.

What surprisingly happened, after I experienced the two personalities, and something that I came to realize after I did some reflection and during my next visit with my therapist, is that the roller coaster was no longer around.  It's not something that I had to work at to change. What I mean by this is that I didn't have to make a conscious choice to change my behavior every time something arose (the erratic emotions, for example) which is also referred to as cognitive behavioral therapy (otherwise known as CBT).  I became this person that felt whole, and it happened after I consciously experienced the personalities living within my existence. I still remember, to this day, asking my therapist, Is this what 'normal' feels like, meaning living presently without the extreme sways of emotions and personality? Everything around me was so vivid and clear.

What Is Your Take Away

I understand that, within the scientific community, you need to measure something in order to prove its existence.  This makes sense for many things in life: to understand facts, to help people heal, and to distinguish the real health resources from the charlatans.  I also want to say, that we don't know, scientifically, all that there is about energy and the universe, and because it may not be measurable at this point in our lives, perhaps because we don't have the technology, does not mean that it does not exist. We just haven't come up with reliable instruments to measure what many have experienced.     

Wake Up to Live is about awareness.  Waking up to live life is about questioning the social norms and the things that feel uncomfortable to talk about.  Wake Up to Live is about becoming awake to our biases, prejudices, and injustices. Waking up to live life is about waking up to see the truth.  Although waking up to live life with awareness and clarity may be difficult to do because now we must begin to make the hard choices, we must strive to Wake Up to Live and be responsible for our actions and the actions of others.  We are in this life together!   

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