Wednesday, July 13, 2016

How An Abused Woman Can Reveal Her Inner Beauty

How to Reveal Your Inner Beauty

A Young Girl Growing Up with Abuse

A girl brought up in an abusive environment, either being hit, belittled, or watching her mother get beaten, may have a difficult time cultivating inner beauty.  She has seen so much ugliness in her life, how could she see herself as beautiful. Even looking in a mirror at herself can trigger rage and hate towards herself; that is what can be odd, to an outsider, about a girl growing up being abused and watching her mother get abused. When she matures into a grown woman, she doesn't always look at her external world as being ugly, untrustworthy, and hateful, but she will, more often than not, see her own inner world as ugly and a disgrace.

Not Feeling As Though You Fit In

I speak of abuse a lot because it is close to home, but also because I never felt as though I fit in to the world around me. The people around me had one view of life; I perceived it quite differently. My thoughts never seemed worth sharing since I didn't feel others could really understand or relate to me, and this point had been proven time-and-again by the comments I would receive. But these feelings that I had--not fitting in--are now becoming recognized by the scientific community with their research studies.

Developmental Trauma

Children who have grown up with childhood trauma such as the victims of abuse, neglect, maltreatment, and ongoing danger were categorized into the PTSD group, however these children didn't really fit in to that group completely (although many still do). Research, today, is showing that a child that has grown up with chronic abuse experiences developmental trauma and doesn't necessarily 'fit in' to the world that a loved child develops into. The behaviors are distinctively different.  There is still more research to be done on this, but I like where it is going. If you are looking for credible articles regarding this topic of developmental trauma, since I won't be going into it in detail, seek evidence-based journals from the researches that are studying this topic. Primary sources are always the best.

How An Abused Woman Can Cultivate Inner Beauty

1. The best way to cultivate inner beauty is to stand tall and be proud of your story. Don't hide and be ashamed of what you have gone through, even though, still, much of society will try to shame you.  Find a support group or people to talk to to hear you out.

2. Find a way to laugh to release stress or even the tears. Sitting in front of the television watching a few sitcoms heals my soul.  Almost every evening this is my ritual, and, over the years, I have learned to, literally, laugh out loud.

3. Looking into a mirror and doing mirror affirmations did not work for me when I began my journey to heal my tainted soul. It was actually dangerous because I thought I was going to hit the mirror; that was how much I hated myself.  So I do not recommend this technique because of my own experiences, but, perhaps, it can work for you. An indirect way of looking at my reflection was sitting on a rock overlooking the surface of the ocean or a lake and seeing my reflection. The reflection wasn't as clear as a mirror and it made the process of just looking at myself easier without feeling the self-hate, shame, and disgust.

4. You've probably heard of this one many times before, but I started a gratitude journal.  Even though my gratitude was based solely on my children to start; over time, I began to stretch out and see other things.  Even the scent of a rose from my back yard was something to be grateful for.

These are only 4 techniques that you can begin with to cultivate your inner beauty and then eventually it will be revealed. Be consistent in your work; that is key. Eventually, you will start to feel different--a good different--from the inside out.

Sending you Love as you cultivate your Inner Beauty  


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