tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30951070441862590052024-03-19T23:44:49.597-07:00Wake Up to Live!Wake Up to Live is committed to the global wellness and self-empowerment of women. Wake Up to Live shares strategies to restore and maintain good mental, emotional, and spiritual health and wellness, essentially, geared toward survivors to raise consciousness and transform ones life. Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.comBlogger279125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-9437492382225016512022-10-28T14:21:00.004-07:002022-10-28T14:33:19.130-07:00Why Is Self-Correction Important to Self-Love?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3blT1hX8l-NGlgv1CUyFzI8yuSalmIS6FMHs2cY4AbRF2QbRRQAS15tbGokNL-B8XyCDXXM0iNFUGZih9Qm0_WBwzIfV25NBbcL1MdZJOpP_KuvbeugTDAi7YvSMhdCCB_GyXQGum8sZsyMl8bpPBB9QX_mH6BdE-A6cCxS1v0gx0i6ZeBlIIhe79g/s5184/jackson-david-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="5184" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3blT1hX8l-NGlgv1CUyFzI8yuSalmIS6FMHs2cY4AbRF2QbRRQAS15tbGokNL-B8XyCDXXM0iNFUGZih9Qm0_WBwzIfV25NBbcL1MdZJOpP_KuvbeugTDAi7YvSMhdCCB_GyXQGum8sZsyMl8bpPBB9QX_mH6BdE-A6cCxS1v0gx0i6ZeBlIIhe79g/w640-h426/jackson-david-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>Learning to love oneself takes self-correction. </p><p>Whenever we think of self-love, we think about doing things like, </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>prioritizing oneself</li><li>being true to oneself</li><li>being nice to oneself</li><li>setting boundaries </li><li>forgiving oneself</li><li>saying "no"</li><li>taking a nap </li><li>taking a walk </li><li>breathing deeply</li><li>sitting in stillness</li><li>eating nutritiously</li><li>emotional regulation</li><li>making a gratitude list</li><li>connecting with friends</li><li>communicating honestly with others</li></ul><p></p><p></p><div>These acts of self-care are all part of growing ones self-love. Engaging in routine self-care has been clinically proven to assist in reducing depression, anxiety, stress, frustration, and anger while increasing happiness and energy and leading to better relationships. When one is in this state of taking care of ones own needs, one is, for example, more appreciative of life. One is taking responsibility for their own health and wellbeing which promotes more self-love. </div><div><br /></div><div>But how do we take action when we are busy with our family and work, or caught up in ruminating thoughts that keep us absent from the present moment? </div><div><br /></div><div>Self-correction. </div><div><br /></div><div>Self-correction is simply the process of correcting oneself (in the present moment) when things begin to go wrong, without outside help or external instructions. By being in the present moment of now, this is where you will have conscious thought of what to do next.</div><div><br /></div><div>How do you self-correct? When you are lost in thought or "mindless" which means that you are not in the present moment, you need to find an effective strategy to get present so that you can self-correct rather than go into that state of emotional overdrive which then is a spiral downhill through your nervous system and into a negative vibrational frequency. </div><div><br /></div><div>Learning how to be mindful is important to the self-correction process. If you are mindless and lost in thought (such as thinking about the next task(s), the next call(s), the next appointment(s)), you will not be present enough to know what to do next to stay in a higher vibrational frequency of self-love.</div><p></p><div align="left" style="background-color: #3a3a3a; color: white; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 16px;"><div style="text-align: right;"><div style="text-align: left;"></div></div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-68739247500926054662022-09-30T10:18:00.004-07:002022-10-01T15:05:08.902-07:00Ask and You Will Receive Divine Interventions<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvP1FleSbfm-rU6ZoDfk-Bu7Ls6bOZIZNIeyQ6SUXoPMYs5sNWciy3cUfl1xJTH1-QYeiPMehRp66mNrYei7E7u9aQwa7q6COWMbKXuJgWiAehn-lwgukMYkaI8Gn5CMoibr7-PS92XzZmcQ4YshtlriOvqt6QfvgqZN1k06Uyfq9aqtO4ynqh7qW-A/s6016/casey-horner-265UjRsLgd8-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4016" data-original-width="6016" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvP1FleSbfm-rU6ZoDfk-Bu7Ls6bOZIZNIeyQ6SUXoPMYs5sNWciy3cUfl1xJTH1-QYeiPMehRp66mNrYei7E7u9aQwa7q6COWMbKXuJgWiAehn-lwgukMYkaI8Gn5CMoibr7-PS92XzZmcQ4YshtlriOvqt6QfvgqZN1k06Uyfq9aqtO4ynqh7qW-A/w640-h428/casey-horner-265UjRsLgd8-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Ask and you Will receive divine intervention. It's so simple, isn't it?! </p><p>When you are curious, when you are concerned, when you are confused, when you feel lonely, when you feel scared, when you feel (whatever it may be), ask a question not from a place of a 'woe-is-me attitude', a 'poor-me', or a 'sullen' attitude, for example, but from an attitude that has a strong intention of knowing, an attitude that demands with a sense of love, to know the truth. Then the truth will come whether through an external or internal voice, an image, a feeling, or a knowing, and you will understand. </p><p>When I stop asking questions because I am so caught up in my day-to-day tasks (e.g., stressed out from work, traffic, or ruminating negative thoughts), I start to feel this low energy, a sense of sadness, anger, and even depression. I feel stuck! This is when, at some point, I start to ask questions about my 'mood' and with contemplation, I realize I'm no longer 'connected' to Life or my Isness. I finally awaken and start asking deeper and more significant questions than the menial day-to-day life tasks we need to accomplish or get hung up on, and, like magic, I move into a state of peace and calm and knowing.</p><p>So many changes have happened since March 2022 when I restarted meditation, but more so, when I started to ask or rather demand answers to my questions - question that were deep and meaningful. I asked plenty of questions over the year, and they served me well, but there is this Great shift happening in the world right now. If you cannot feel it, you are not present. Wake up to It!!!</p><p>Nothing has changed on the outside if you want to analyze my life, but SO much has changed on the inside; it's almost indescribable. A new humanity is being created - we are waking up to who we really are. We are understanding our Self. </p><p>Come with me. Come with us. We are One and All the same. Listen. Learn. Be. </p><p>With love and gratitude. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-49614234682092250322022-09-20T14:52:00.024-07:002022-09-20T19:32:37.994-07:00Simplicity Over Mass Confusion and Chaos<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwibW6jSvMp8vi5Eca-Au2KqYOCcgWeATiHsw-N06HemzwsdUpvPprHcONczIfDI0h2kainCVQn4e5FMjFQrpyO3zR_5c0oqpwi-H46rwMsPHSRX3NFwovoZoYf8JQi9PLRD_xf121ni7lkCMDnL0Fk4wGFJ9ulIKwm09wFNSs81_0wjfYN2WdvC15KA/s4272/sarah-dorweiler-9Z1KRIfpBTM-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2848" data-original-width="4272" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwibW6jSvMp8vi5Eca-Au2KqYOCcgWeATiHsw-N06HemzwsdUpvPprHcONczIfDI0h2kainCVQn4e5FMjFQrpyO3zR_5c0oqpwi-H46rwMsPHSRX3NFwovoZoYf8JQi9PLRD_xf121ni7lkCMDnL0Fk4wGFJ9ulIKwm09wFNSs81_0wjfYN2WdvC15KA/w640-h426/sarah-dorweiler-9Z1KRIfpBTM-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p>This post is straight talk. It's brief. It doesn't go into a great amount of detail in regard to the various topics, but it is real and raw about the system we live in. There are also a lot of f-bombs being dropped here. If you can't stomach that, then stop here and move on!</p><p style="text-align: center;">* * *</p><p>As the world gets more complex with new technology and new gadgets to wear, like the Oura Smart Ring Generation 3, I'm working on simplifying my life. I don't know if it is my age, the generation, or the post-pandemic residuals, but I am finding that I am making different choices.</p><p>It really comes down to, what the f*c* makes me happy in the most simplest way possible. For decades, I struggled in life due to developmental and sexual trauma. Then I went to therapy for ten years and then I went to school . . . for years - certifications in counselling, yoga, and fitness, certifications in metaphysical ministering and mysticism, an associate degree in psychology, certifications in two coaching programs, a nursing undergraduate degree, and a masters degree . . . and yet with all this experience and education . . . sure education has increased analytical thinking, allowed me to see various perspectives, and gave me the knowledge and understanding about evidence-based research . . . I am totally unsatisfied with my life! </p><p>Just a side note: And I still have to get interviewed by some twenty something year old recruiter that has no f**k*** clue about life or how to take an interview questioning my integrity. Just consider this. When you apply to Fraser Health Authority in the province of British Columbia, you have about three recruiters for the entire Health Authority. You get on their bad side by not sucking up in the interview or even ask a question that may show your assertiveness and you're screwed. There is no more interview for you. Recruiters (who have no education in health) are the gatekeepers. I believe, with the entire Vancouver Island Health Authority, they have two recruiters. It's a f**k*** joke how this world works now. We are slaves to the systems cowing down to f**king recruiters to get a job. One wrong move and you're f**k*** out! </p><p>Anyway, it was during my undergraduate academic studies I realized this - the real archaic, corrupt, indoctrinating systems. The more you sucked up to the teachers, the more they liked you. The more they liked you, the better you were treated and the more leeway they would give you. On the other hand, the more you spoke out, the more resistance there was. You were called difficult, aggressive, and hostile. What they were looking for was for you to comply with the implicit (and explicit) rules of the educational system - learn what they teach and keep your mouth shut. This makes life easy for them, certainly. They don't want students to rock the boat or question what they are teaching and how they are teaching it, and neither do they want instructors questioning the system. (Undoubtedly, this is a very simplified explanation, but it gives you a little bit of a picture). </p><p>What's truly sad about this is that I am not sure if I really thought about my future so far in advance and what I would be doing. I spent so much time healing my pain to adjust my behavior and educating myself figuring that perhaps working at a job (also indoctrinated by parents) would show my potential, commitment, dedication, and loyalty to a company where they may just respect all the effort I put in, but I realized that doing life this way (getting a job and working for someone else), my future was dependent on the decisions of that one person. What happens if I spoke my mind about a project or a teaching modality, or disagreed with something and this intimidated (etc.) this individual, or someone spoke against me and they simply believed them and not me? This one person could change the direction of my future. How could I even think this way? My future dependent on someone else. Is that what we all do: go to school to get a degree or trade, work for a company, and when we are in our late 50's and 60's, they find a reason to let us go and all our training and hard work amounted to nothing? We are left unemployed and penniless and our self-esteem at the bottom of the bay?</p><p style="text-align: center;">* * * </p><p>After, I completed my masters degree, wow, was I in for a slap in the face. No matter what educational level you are at, it feels like you are constantly pleading for a job. "Please, please hire me!" with their three or four f**k*** part of an interview! F**king unreal! It's like you are becoming this brown nosing, weak, pathetic ass and your self-esteem is shot to hell. As well, with a job, it is implied that working overtime is okay and expected. The problem with this is that some companies <i>may </i>pay for overtime, while other companies simply <i>expect</i> overtime for free. I know now through interviews and stories, for example, that teachers grade assignments and prep for the week or each day on their own time. What the f**k generation started this?! Are you okay working for free? And, sometimes I even hear people say "I don't mind." That's the f**k*** problem. Canadians tolerate too much s***! We are such f**k*** wusses. </p><p>My entire perspective went from a mid-left wing Liberal to a right wing Conservative. It was like I was asleep for the last two and a half years and more. I woke up to a new dictionary of pronouns, and I woke up to hearing a group of people say that they didn't want to use the terms male or female anymore. This is misogynistic at it's finest and some people can't even f**k*** see this! If you have a vagina, you are a f**k*** female and if you have a penis, you are a f**k*** male. Simple! In an autopsy, your bones will disclose what gender you are. Perhaps we should give it a go now and do some sample testing to be sure! We have idiots that do not understand basic biology and who are convincing educators and politicians with the woe is me attitude and the left is falling for this. </p><p>I started meditating again earlier this year. I made a commitment to meditate everyday because what I was doing wasn't working anymore, as you can see; there was something wrong. With meditation, I started to ask deeper questions, questions that challenged my concepts of truth, and things started to dramatically change inside of me. </p><p>I tolerated. I bit my tongue. I sympathized. I listened! And, at one time, I thought this was a good thing because so many people indoctrinated me over the years by telling me that it was a good thing to empathize and be tolerant, but, I've come to realize with a rude awaking that it's not because there are some people that are just f**k*** ignorant (and they need to be told or educated). They, actually, believe that all of their thoughts and emotions are their truth. That's a sad f**k*** situation when you believe that all of your thoughts and feelings are your truth! Where is the f**k*** critical analysis? Where is the research? Don't believe everything you think, feel, or see. It's not all about f**k*** you. </p><p>So simplifying my life is about showing up and standing up for what is morally right when North Americans (not the world) are going f**k*** crazy which is creating a lot of chaos and mass confusion! It will be a pretty sad and pathetic state for the next generation of children growing up with this new sick and ill-willed indoctrination. </p><p>Simplifying is also about minimalism, being in nature, spending time with family - children, grandchildren - and working toward being independent from these systems that dictate how you should be and what you should think. </p><p>Photo by Sarah Dorweiler</p><p><br /></p>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-68366972341449152432022-08-29T14:52:00.003-07:002022-08-29T14:54:08.615-07:00The Divine Message that Saved My Life<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqadJgRwdCl5EWLXw6WPE7OwmB11KCR7jHLDKCdJ-UGPfgik2pk2msVfyJuNXbRTAi5XRr0MDOqhI4DDBP0O6M_mCBJv_VHmvlSI8kdOgR6FLoEHk5EETYRJGorH76RiHhkRQ8RmIu-4i14jwU40ziPnk1TaDLri2pYD6dV3VncGLz1rTRWKxzHztdIg/s5005/jeremy-thomas-E0AHdsENmDg-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3417" data-original-width="5005" height="436" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqadJgRwdCl5EWLXw6WPE7OwmB11KCR7jHLDKCdJ-UGPfgik2pk2msVfyJuNXbRTAi5XRr0MDOqhI4DDBP0O6M_mCBJv_VHmvlSI8kdOgR6FLoEHk5EETYRJGorH76RiHhkRQ8RmIu-4i14jwU40ziPnk1TaDLri2pYD6dV3VncGLz1rTRWKxzHztdIg/w640-h436/jeremy-thomas-E0AHdsENmDg-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">A miracle happened to me in 2011, and it saved my life. If I
wasn’t practicing meditation and receiving messages already, I probably
wouldn’t have trusted my gut. But then again, I shouldn’t say that because all
my life, I’ve experienced various divine interventions and a knowing of who we
truly are, but because <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/" target="_blank">I grew up with a lot of trauma</a> – chronic childhood
abuse, sexual abuse as a child, sexual assaults as a teen, and further domestic
violence, I rebelled, and angrily, I turned away from It - away from my higher
energy source that lovingly wanted to guide me. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I do not deny that unawake people experience miracles or
divine interventions that literally shock them into enlightenment. I recently
read a horrific story about Isira who lives in Australia. She first awakened
while she was being raped. During the time she experienced being raped, beaten,
and almost murdered she emanated pure love and compassion which, she believes, caused
an awakening in her abuser, who was moved to stop the brutality. This saved her
life. At the age of 18, Isira vowed to dedicate her life to the awakening of
humanity. She is now an awakened spiritual teacher. Such an amazing story! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, I started practicing meditation in 2006 and the
practice has supported me in many life’s decisions. Here is one example. I received
a breast augmentation in September 2005. It was a low period in my life, and I
didn’t yet start my healing journey. You can read about my healing journey in
my first published book, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Worthlessness-Coming-Self-Love-Survivor/dp/1525556142/ref=sr_1_1?crid=15VXQ9DB7ABAS&keywords=healing+worthlessness&qid=1661809731&sprefix=healing+worthlessness%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Healing Worthlessness: Coming into Self-Love as aTrauma Survivor</a>.</i> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I ended up getting really sick in mid 2009. That was about 4
years after the breast implants. I had this nagging sore throat, swollen lymph
nodes in my neck, armpits, and groin, a persistent mild fever, some sweating, and
persistent fatigue. These symptoms came on gradually over the course of several
months and progressively got worse over time. My youngest son was heading to
Toronto to attend U of T at the time. As the symptoms got worse, I remember a
time when I had to stop my vehicle on the side of the road to rest or have a
brief nap because I’d experience overwhelming feelings of weakness and fatigue,
and I was actually afraid that I was going to fall asleep at the wheel while
driving. It’s not like I had to drive far to get to the grocery store when I
lived in the city of West Van. My body also started to feel like cement and my
movements became slow. I was an active person, exercising at the gym daily
before driving the kids to school, jogging, and kayaking, and then wham, this
happened.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I went from one doctor to the next trying to find out what I
had, but none of them could find anything wrong with me. They considered that
it could be Lyme’s disease, but it didn’t fit the symptoms and they couldn’t
find the bullseye. One doctor finally diagnosed me with chronic fatigue
syndrome even though he was very skeptical about saying it. How do I know that?
Because he said so. I asked him about the implants suggesting that perhaps it
was this that was causing the symptoms, but he was adamant that my symptoms had
absolutely <i>nothing</i> to do with the implants! He wasn’t the only doctor that
said this. So, I didn’t do anything.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Another few months had passed. I continued on my path of
trying many different alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, colon
therapy, and homeopathy. I even joined a yoga teacher training program thinking
that this just may get me into a state of balance or homeostasis, but nothing
seemed to help. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, one afternoon when I finished my <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/" target="_blank">meditation practice</a>
at home, I leapt out of bed and said to myself, “It’s the implants.” I was
absolutely certain it was the implants. I shared this with some friends of
mine, and they asked me how I knew? I said, I just knew. I then got on the
internet and started researching the topic, and within two weeks after the
revelation, which was on October 2011 (6 years later after getting the implants),
I had them removed. The cost was almost the same price to get them out as it
was to put them in, but it was the best decision I ever made. Like I said, I
did my research, and I asked the plastic surgeon to make sure he removed all
the calcifications even if he had to take out healthy tissue causing
disfigurement. I am happy to say, he did. When I was weight training and lost a
significant amount of weight and my body mass index was extremely low, back in
2018-19, I could see the divots in the middle and lower chest area. You can’t
see them now with the fat tissue. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After the surgery, I started to heal almost immediately. Within
2 to 3 weeks, I noticed things were changing, although very slowly. I felt,
somehow, lighter. That cement feeling was starting to subside, and I could
actually walk a bit faster. My strength started to return. I still recall doing
some weeding in the yard of our new home on the Island (Vancouver Island). It
was a lovely 3-acre lot. I recall pulling on some large brambles trying to get
rid of it’s hold in the soil, and I started to shed tears. They were tears of
joy. I said to my husband, at the time, that I couldn’t do this just 4 months
ago. Each day and each week, I continued to get better – my energy level increasing
little by little…. Overall, it took some time – about 18-24 months before I
could say that I felt “almost normal”. The trouble I currently have, is that
when I get overly stressed or put in too many hours at work, I start feeling
that lethargy and some mild symptoms come back. But then, who doesn’t feel
fatigued with too much stress! I couldn’t image where I would be with my health
<i>and</i> life if I listened to the physicians and didn’t remove the breast
implants, because back in 2011, I literally felt like I was dying! <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/" target="_blank">The divinemessage through meditation saved my life.</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Of course, we will never know for certain if my symptoms
were caused by the implants because I wasn’t a case study researched in a
controlled environment. However, in 2019, a report came out stating that the
biocell textured silicone breast implants made by Allergan were pulled from
sale in Canada due to the risk of a type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma among patients
with macro-textured breast implants. This report came out eight years after I
removed my breast implants. I was one of the lucky ones. Other women shared
their stories, and they were incapacitated by severe symptoms. Who knew
<a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/">meditation</a> could show me the way and cause a miracle such as this!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It's amazing what <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/">meditation</a> can do for you – not only to understand
yourself but the world around you. What messages will you follow through on
when you hear the voice. If you are in midlife, it is time to awaken through
meditation. Don’t wait. I encourage you to start, no matter how short the
practice is in the beginning to gain a greater understanding of yourself and
the world around you. <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/">Trust that you will receive miracles.</a> They happen. <o:p></o:p></p>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-57748684501417089812022-08-29T10:21:00.034-07:002022-08-29T11:55:30.662-07:00NEW Midlife Redesigned Podcast!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9nLdOx7uciFUHKi8L-xAtq_7okwkjng7KoGE8UXHwsfcS4PCnTLaFEWrwabQPckJsBG-i8s6n-4e3N4OVOdrd8G_XjAeGP8XmQXDlT_aIPuVSHj_YhzPdpHsON2OrjkQYkytUGM6PsbDUoRxXiXz3f83G9Os_WAz00gDbdqNlQBQ76qLrrcsY44jthg/s1920/Facebook-Page-Banner.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9nLdOx7uciFUHKi8L-xAtq_7okwkjng7KoGE8UXHwsfcS4PCnTLaFEWrwabQPckJsBG-i8s6n-4e3N4OVOdrd8G_XjAeGP8XmQXDlT_aIPuVSHj_YhzPdpHsON2OrjkQYkytUGM6PsbDUoRxXiXz3f83G9Os_WAz00gDbdqNlQBQ76qLrrcsY44jthg/w640-h360/Facebook-Page-Banner.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal"><b><u>IS THIS YOU?</u></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you tired of the rat-race, unhappy and sacrificing your
health?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you so burnt-out and exhausted that you don’t even know
who you are anymore?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> Are you settling living to get that paycheck or promotion but know you are meant for so much more?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you afraid to leave your job because that’s all you feel you know?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you hiding from life because you are afraid to be seen
for who you truly are?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you sick of the mundane lifestyle that lacks meaning,
substance, and fulfillment?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Do you feel like something is missing in your life but can’t
put your finger on it?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you struggling in silence, disconnected from others
because they don’t understand?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p style="text-align: left;">Do you find you are saying, “This is not where I expected to
be at this point in my life?”</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>IF THIS IS YOU, then perhaps you haven't seen Desiree Leigh Coaching yet!</b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>See below what is new with Desiree Leigh Coaching!</b></p><p><br /></p><p>So many <u><i>new</i></u> things in 2022 and we still have one more quarter to go!</p><p>1). We <b style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Redesigned Our Website</b>. </p><p><a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/pages/home" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> & <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/pages/home" target="_blank">DesireeLeighCoaching.com</a> go to the same site. You can learn about me, what I do as a coach, the books I recently published, my new podcast, and products for sale (many coming soon!). And, there is much more!</p><p><br /></p><p>2). Desiree Leigh <b style="background-color: #3d85c6;">Published 3 Books</b> (one published in 2021 and the other two published this year in 2022!).</p><p><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Worthlessness-Coming-Self-Love-Survivor/dp/1525556142/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ACGKBTDF6YOP&keywords=healing+worthlessness&qid=1661792151&sprefix=healing+worthlessness%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Healing Worthlessness: Coming into Self-Love as a Trauma Survivor</a></i></p><p><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Worthy-Woman-Workbook-Self-Worth-Survivors/dp/B0B5KV556N/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3VRGEMI3ZFVRE&keywords=the+worthy+woman+workbook+desiree+leigh+thompson&qid=1661792206&sprefix=the+worthy+woman+workbook+desiree+leigh+thompson%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Worthy Woman Workbook: How to Build Lasting Self-Worth for Survivors</a> </i>which is a companion of my first published book. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Midlife-Redesigned-Reshaping-Future-Leveraging-ebook/dp/B0B58FVV39/ref=sr_1_1?crid=VIA2185Q7WE8&keywords=midlife+redesigned&qid=1661792259&sprefix=midlife+redesigned%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Midlife Redesigned: Women Reshaping Their Future by Leveraging the Power of Their Heart</a>.</p><p>You can also go to the website and access them there. <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com/pages/home" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> is a nice central location for all our products and services.</p><p><br /></p><p>3) Desiree Leigh started the <b><u style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Midlife Redesigned Podcast</u></b>. You can find Midlife Redesigned on:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6rrovSRGbKdQccPHkeYb0d" target="_blank">Spotify</a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/midlife-redesigned/id1626321330" target="_blank">Apple podcasts</a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-midlife-redesigned-97510722/" target="_blank">iHeart Radio</a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.stitcher.com/show/midlife-redesigned" target="_blank">Stitcher</a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5yZXNvbmF0ZXJlY29yZGluZ3MuY29tL21pZGxpZmUtcmVkZXNpZ25lZA" target="_blank">Google podcasts</a> </p><p><b>Stream to listen to Desiree's most recent podcast posts. Right here. Right now!</b></p><p>>>>>><a href="https://media.resonaterecordings.com/midlife-redesigned/e51d8dce-db41-4f07-a1f7-97e81bde30fb.mp3" target="_blank">We All Need to Wake Up Now!</a> </p><p>>>>>><a href="https://media.resonaterecordings.com/midlife-redesigned/f952c5ee-8ba8-46ea-8513-6084cdb13be3.mp3" target="_blank">The Divine Message that Saved my Life!</a></p><p><br /></p><p><u><b>Connect with Desiree:</b></u></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/desireeleighthompson/" target="_blank">Instagram</a></p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/coachdesireeleigh/" target="_blank">Facebook</a></p></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-56106720277815545102020-10-02T12:35:00.005-07:002020-10-02T12:35:57.183-07:00How to Thrive in Today's 2020 Challenging Times<p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURSOq2JxGf2-ljQPyZ2MNVGzwSXWTA_LD06RyPteUihA240-ansmJWESzLtgkpRVfIe4QnFZLBsD0hszE2XXjS1dzxeAggWQRNPfXNes-vNmc4v0pwLqKQn03kRNcv3hb19HMvm_bSo4H/s2048/Thriving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURSOq2JxGf2-ljQPyZ2MNVGzwSXWTA_LD06RyPteUihA240-ansmJWESzLtgkpRVfIe4QnFZLBsD0hszE2XXjS1dzxeAggWQRNPfXNes-vNmc4v0pwLqKQn03kRNcv3hb19HMvm_bSo4H/w640-h426/Thriving.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">How to Thrive in Today's Challenging Times</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week was a challenging week for me, and it seemed to be
that way for many people I talked to.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We have the ongoing threat of the COVID second wave, worries
of more illness, death, and disruptive lockdowns, add the political
uncertainties, and then we get the . . . smoke. I could feel myself getting
angry and at times slipping into overwhelm and despair.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">All Emotions Came Tumbling Down</h3><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did it all. I cried, yelled out profanities, prayed,
laughed hysterically, and, eventually, with some time, said that this too shall
pass . . . at some point!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But really. How do we get through this when there doesn’t
seem to be an end? When I go to the gym and do rigorous exercise, I, most
times, hate it, but I know there is an end. When I went to university and
things got tough, I kept telling myself that there was an end. I will graduate
at some point. Things do not last forever. I get it and you get it, but how do
we deal with it in the moment. There’s a turning point at some point. However,
with our global state right now, if feels like there isn’t an end (at least for
now), so what do you do?<o:p></o:p></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">How Can I Manage Such Extraordinary Moments?</h3><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I started to think how I could manage these extraordinary
moments. How can I turn these erratic emotions or my ups-and-downs into hope so
that I could thrive. This is what came up.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Awareness</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When you need to gain control of a situation, the first step
is to become aware. Step back. See the big picture and see yourself in it. When
you are caught up in what’s happening, all you can do is react. Becoming aware
allows you to make conscious choices.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up</a> to receive a weekly newsletter to stay connected,
encouraged and inspired!<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>What you focus on increases</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When you put your attention onto something, you attract more
of it. Don’t get caught up in watching the news. The news is masterful at
sucking you into a dark tunnel of worry and doubt.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Create structure to support your mental health</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You know what is good for your mental health. The challenge
is to do what you know; to follow the path that will support your well-being.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Pay attention to your environment</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When things around you turn negative, your mood gets dragged
down. Avoid negative environments and conversations for the sake of your own
mental health.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/coachdesireeleigh/" target="_blank">Join me on Facebook</a> to stay connected and thrive in our
community!<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Practice gratitude</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Focus on the amazing gifts, circumstances, and opportunities
in your life. You can always find abundance and goodness somewhere. Practice
writing down 3 to 5 things you are grateful for each day.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Nurture your soul</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In order to thrive we must take care of our mind, body, and
soul. Spend time in nature. Sit silently and observe what’s around you. Take in
the fresh air. Recall good memories. Allow them to make you smile. Explore new
thoughts that inspire you.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up</a> to stay connected, encouraged and inspired!<o:p></o:p></p>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-12667474264630056712020-09-19T15:32:00.003-07:002020-09-20T18:13:56.751-07:00Can We Genuinely Achieve Peace With Oppositional Views<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxVKJbV1wicP3OwK8h4s-j9cYM2CCFnKrIWtcxr-TiuRDz-J77voQPrirMKegL-si0M23pK7cXuKMprz61hF59RQUBt6ynPZxMME5HWFFjahVX3piAzcdlzDmGQZUVq_u8v8gAGy9l7XS/s2048/MASK1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1638" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxVKJbV1wicP3OwK8h4s-j9cYM2CCFnKrIWtcxr-TiuRDz-J77voQPrirMKegL-si0M23pK7cXuKMprz61hF59RQUBt6ynPZxMME5HWFFjahVX3piAzcdlzDmGQZUVq_u8v8gAGy9l7XS/w512-h640/MASK1.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div></blockquote></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Haters Streaming the Internet</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ruther Bader Ginsburg (RBG) died on September 18, 2020 at
the age of 87 from pancreatic cancer. She was fueled by her Jewish history and
the Holocaust to change the world. This blog post is not intended to discuss
Ms. Ginsburg, but rather the “hate” streaming the internet about her and, I’m
going to say it’s because of her Jewish history and, perhaps, because she’s a
democrat, and the US election is near.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Social Media, A Breeding Ground for Hate</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Social media has become a place where haters come out of the
wood-work hiding behind closed doors and sometimes without an avatar on their
profile to spread hate, but when I see a woman with a PhD spreading cruel words
about a population and various countries including the USA, UK, and Germany, I
not only get annoyed at her way of speech, but I get very concerned about such
deeply rooted hate and what it can lead to.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up to stay connected, encouraged, and inspired!</a></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Can We Genuinely Understand Each Other to Achieve Peace</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not condoning that this world is just. We are far from
it and we need so much more change. However, I wonder if it’s even possible to
genuinely understand one another rather than hate, knowing what we know about
colonization and the Israel-Palestinian feud and why it all came about. With the
coronavirus, I’ve come to realize that there is more of a divide than ever
before. Populations are not harmonizing. They are standing up for their rights
after years of oppression and they are not backing down. I understand that with
BLM, women’s rights, gender equality . . .<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Recently on a LinkedIn feed, there was a PhD woman from
Orange County, California commenting on “The Female Lead” post. The Female Lead
shared that they were saddened by the passing of the trailblazing notorious
RBG, who led the way for gender equality and fought for women’s rights her
entire life. It was a good time to recognize her accomplishments. Most
responders were cordial, but what gives people permission to spread so much
hate when so many are simply acknowledging a person’s accomplishments. I can
guarantee that if this person wasn’t hiding behind their profile, and rather
she was in public, that she would respond differently. Perhaps, at minimum,
she’d respond tactfully, in regard to her political voice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">My White American Privilege</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe, I’m just looking for some consideration in the
moment, but, in fact, who says that I deserve this consideration and why should
I have this “privileged” attitude? That’s right. It is actually a privileged
attitude. I have an inherently privileged or advantageous position because I am
White and because I live in North America. I’m not a Palestinian. I am not a
Jew. I am not Black. I am not Brown. I have never been colonized by the “White”
countries. In fact, I have no idea what it would be like to be in their shoes.
I have no idea how to sincerely understand because I’ve never experienced what
they’ve experienced. However, I can listen between the lines and empathize. In
the feed, as she was condemning and criticizing RBG for being a Jew, no one listened
to her; they only lashed out and called her down. No one listened between the
line because it wasn’t her stage; it was RBG’s. Neither did I, for a moment.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p><b><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up to stay connected and receive weekly reflective messages!</a></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">How Do We Make Peace? Can We?</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I look at the Palestinians and Jews, the Blacks and Whites,
the Men and Women, the Indigenous and Colonialism, China and Hong Kong . . . I don’t have a political major education
where I can go into detail about and untangle each one of these conflicts, but
how do we or where do we even start at making peace? The hate, disrespect, and
unjust actions have been running lives, countries, and nations for centuries.
Are we fooling ourselves to say that things are getting better? Or are we
(e.g., governments, organizations, conglomerates, nations) becoming smarter in
the ways we can manipulate and control?<o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Missing the Bigger Picture</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then these people that live in these divides (including
myself as a woman) have the “right” to be angry and lash out especially when NO
one is listening. Today, too many people live in a world where they simply
“bypass” pain and understanding. When one bypasses unresolved issues whether
about themselves or others, they live in this egoic and privileged state like
“nothing” is wrong. They are tunnel visioned. They blame the “individual.” By
excluding the social order from blame, it makes it that much harder to initiate
change in social and political institutions. So what I had seen on LinkedIn
about the commenters acting out on this woman because she was being
disrespectful about her unjust history, they focused on her as an individual;
they missed the “bigger picture.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Blaming the individual allows for protestors or dissidents
to be controlled more easily not only by governments but by the majority. The
commenters for The Female Lead post about RBG were advocates for her and her
work; they were the majority for this post, and so they were the one’s lashing
back at her for speaking out; a way to control her or to stop her from speaking
her truth, although not in the best tongue.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up to stay connected!</a></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Hypothetical Peace</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Many of us hypothetically “say” that we want peace, but we
don’t act that way. We go to yoga (for example) and do our chants and smiles,
but then when we are on social media sites, we are quick to defend our way of
thinking but also our privilege. I get that! It’s scary to give up things that
we grew accustomed to receiving without groveling or fighting for. It’s easy to
condemn without looking at someone else’s point of view or consider their
experiences.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Deleting Comments to Give False Assumptions</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did jump in and make a comment to this Dr’s statement, and
it went something like this: “It’s concerning to read such deep hate in your
discourse . . . As a researcher, you probably understand that education omits
material as a way to continue to oppress populations . . . but why not use your
PhD as influence.” I gather she responded the next day, but The Female Lead had
removed all of her comments including anyone that replied. This is also sad and
an incorrect way to handle comments such as hers and another way to “oppress”
others. Certainly, it satisfies the majority and it relieves tensions. However,
the comments on the RBG post reads all positive. It give a false assumption
that “everyone” loved her, and that’s not right either!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="http://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">Sign Up to stay connected here!</a></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Let Bygone be Bygones</h2><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">How do we get over it, though? How do we get over the pain,
hurt, and disrespect that’s been going on for-ever in certain populations and
still to this day continue? Can we let bygones be bygones? In psychotherapy and
healing, we discuss how we need to “let go” to heal. That we need to “forgive”
to move on. (Remember, it’s not about spiritual or positivity bypassing
though!). As an individual, it seems like a possible and manageable task, but
when we ask populations to do this, this way of thinking seems irrelevant. Why
is it relevant for individuals and not whole populations? Is it because
explicit and implicit control, manipulation, and abuse continue? Then bygones
will never be bygones, and we will continue to live in false assumptions, blind
to what is really happening. But, maybe, neither are we making an effort.
Darkness has ways of consuming us.</p>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-43648162784063726692020-07-26T08:57:00.009-07:002020-09-14T18:39:35.555-07:00How's Your Mental Health?<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6rV2ge-ApAZRNCAD5PtXAdsjQ21rH4ySYUDDbOmy_L1puFGWlJdJkaaFSIknfanvviuId1j0leuxo5HWpNgcaVtuXwGgSqtpnam_AuHcp4Mfr11BwHK7Vg5chmrsWxDpcPGkLHjsbC8eA/s2048/adult-blur-city-dawn.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6rV2ge-ApAZRNCAD5PtXAdsjQ21rH4ySYUDDbOmy_L1puFGWlJdJkaaFSIknfanvviuId1j0leuxo5HWpNgcaVtuXwGgSqtpnam_AuHcp4Mfr11BwHK7Vg5chmrsWxDpcPGkLHjsbC8eA/w625-h416/adult-blur-city-dawn.jpg" width="625" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 16px;"><font color="#f6b26b"><br /></font></span></div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 16px;"><div><font color="#f6b26b">I don't follow Kim Karsashian but when mental health issues
pop up in the news, I am all ears. Apparently, Kim took to social media to rant
about Kanye's erratic behavior expressed from his bipolar disorder, but later
deleted the posts and then sent a powerful message to her followers asking them
to give her family some space to work through their issues.</font></div><p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><o:p></o:p></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><b>What is bipolar disorder? </b>Type I, II and cycothymia. The
difference is in their severity with type I having the most extreme manic
episodes (elevated or irritable mood, intense energy, racing thoughts,
exaggerated behavior) while type II has more depressive episodes, is more
difficult to diagnose (most people are diagnosed with having depression), and
individuals are more prone to suicide. Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar. I
was diagnosed with Bipolar II a few years ago. I was prescribed some medications
that did nothing for me except cause problematic side effects. So I went off of
them. I learned to manage my symptoms with self-awareness, breathing, and
sitting with the feelings. It can be difficult, but self-awareness is key. <o:p></o:p></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><b>What triggers manic episodes? </b>Periods of high stress such as
a death, working long hours, and the uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic
can do it. When stress becomes overwhelming and prolonged, it can trigger
various mental health problems, and if you experience a bipolar disorder, PTSD,
or depression, it can increase erratic behavior, somatic sensations such as
body pain and fatigue.<o:p></o:p></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><b>How can I help myself? </b>It's more important than ever to stay aware of your
self-care needs, and to make sure that you take the time to tend to whatever
triggers (e.g., emotions or recurring thoughts) comes up. Staying on top of
your needs may not prevent triggers during this time, but it will lessen any
emotional and mental chaos and uncertainty.</font></p><p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><o:p></o:p></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b">If you need support, it's important to reach out. Be kind to
yourself. It's a difficult time right now. <o:p></o:p></font></p><p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b"><b>Let's connect!</b> I'd love for you to join my Facebook page
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/coachdesireeleigh/" target="_blank">@coachdesireeleigh</a> to stay connected and up to date for up and coming products
and services for self-care, self-love, and various mental health issues like
depression and anxiety. <o:p></o:p></font></p><p class="MsoNormal">
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#f6b26b">You can also download my FREE eBook at <a href="http://www.DesireeLeigh.com">www.DesireeLeigh.com</a>
to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams
with 7 life-proven steps to build inner strength.</font><font color="#ffd966"><o:p></o:p></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="color: #202020;"><br /></p></span>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-14013803390248016452020-07-02T12:15:00.006-07:002020-09-14T18:39:51.671-07:00The Effects of Emotional Abuse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpup8a908BC6iZurQd0LgZFH8UpibbYNIDK75x5v8rvzf8_LQKWWJ7GNc59RYcmWgCr4FYrFBKo1JkRMLL4usEGDf4E5Rts14_zEwMFRoSKbcMqz6I64z882VbP37AncltHxJu4UM04B4Q/s5184/gwendal-cottin-GcUe00s585w-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="5184" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpup8a908BC6iZurQd0LgZFH8UpibbYNIDK75x5v8rvzf8_LQKWWJ7GNc59RYcmWgCr4FYrFBKo1JkRMLL4usEGDf4E5Rts14_zEwMFRoSKbcMqz6I64z882VbP37AncltHxJu4UM04B4Q/w640-h426/gwendal-cottin-GcUe00s585w-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><b>What is emotional abuse?</b><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that involves the emotional maltreatment of a child, youth, or adult. Emotional abuse is also termed psychological abuse or mental abuse. It is a form of abuse that affects your psyche - mental and emotional - without the physical abuse.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Emotional abuse is usually done in a very cunning and devious manner, and it may not be obvious to you especially if you had suffered from emotional abuse as a child and or adolescent. Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify due to its subtle nature and may even be looked at as a loving behavior. However, emotional abuse if far from a loving behavior. The abuser acts in a controlling and manipulative manner trying to intimidate, isolate, scare, or threaten the victim. </div><div><br /></div><div>Emotional abuse can also look like bullying, passive-aggressive behavior (e.g., backhanded compliments, sulking, refusal to communicate), and negging (dismissive and degrading comments that undermind self-confidence).</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Gaslighting</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Gaslighting is also part of emotional abuse. It is a tactic to gain power and make the person question their reality. It's easy to get sucked into gaslighting because it is slow and progressive and, basically, you're swallowed up by it before you even know it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Emotional abuse wears you down slowly where eventually you begin to walk on eggshells and you doubt your self, your abilities, and your self-concept. The abuse is a critical aspect of intimate partner violence. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Here are a few examples of emotional abuse. This definitely doesn't encompass them all:</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The "unable to take a joke" when the joke is on you using sarcasm or mocking behavior.</li><li>Making patronizing comments.</li><li>Putting down your interests.</li><li>Infantizing you or acting as though they know what's best for you.</li><li>Deliberately putting you in an uncomfortable position such as locking you out of your home.</li><li>Telling you how you should feel. Dismissing your feelings.</li><li>Telling you that you are overreacting (to all of the examples I mentioned above).</li><li>Refusing to take responsibility for their actions even after you've made it clear about their behavior.</li><li>Monitoring your whereabouts and/or how often you check in.</li><li>Intimidating you to spend all of your time with them.</li><li>Withholding affecting or communication as a form of punishment.</li><li>Deliberately picking arguments.</li><li>Hiding or destroying your belongings.</li></ul></div><div><b>Effects of Emotional Abuse</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Emotional abuse can lead to trauma which then shows up as post-traumatic stress disorder or complex post-traumatic stress disorder. </div><div><br /></div><div>Abusive relationships are definitely complex, but many of the victims are hit hard. Besides adapting a low self-concept, typically, they find maladaptive ways (e.g., alcohol, drugs, binge eating, smoking, shopping, gambling) to cope which further deteriorates their self-concept and self-worth. </div><div><br /></div><div>Emotional abuse can make you feel fearful, shameful, anxious, confused, depressed, and hopeless which can then lead to difficulty in concentrating, moodiness, ruminating thoughts, an elevated or maintained stress response (which can cause physical health issues such as heart disease), muscle tension, headaches, stomach (GI) issues, sleeping disorders, and chronic fatigue or chronic pain. Social withdrawal and loneliness are two long-term effects of emotional abuse which further complicates things.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have been there and done them all, but I am here to say that you can get out of this vicious cycle.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you need immediate support, please call your local authorities, safe houses, or 911.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Click on this link <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to sign up to recieve a FREE eBook about how to build internal strength, self-confidence, and self-trust.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-21631063199666198552020-06-23T17:37:00.008-07:002020-09-14T18:40:06.012-07:00Are You Expecting Too Much From Your Relationships?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv5TJ8ZcXG3BFNCAlxdnAW4zP-v3hyphenhyphenv5rvhwGYCnyHM8UQON1eGjwI_Nw3CLjm9Okj_XL1VODQ3Zzc9k8sJ3fw5p4zjvNBitnRoK20hoN8n2nJbu9VBe3USMh6lHKmz0g0EZTfR-dQS7ly/s5184/omar-lopez-auEe5lKHZCw-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="5184" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv5TJ8ZcXG3BFNCAlxdnAW4zP-v3hyphenhyphenv5rvhwGYCnyHM8UQON1eGjwI_Nw3CLjm9Okj_XL1VODQ3Zzc9k8sJ3fw5p4zjvNBitnRoK20hoN8n2nJbu9VBe3USMh6lHKmz0g0EZTfR-dQS7ly/w640-h426/omar-lopez-auEe5lKHZCw-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Whether it's a friendship, colleague, family member, or intimate partner, no one said that relationships would be easy. I like to look at relationships like the colors of a rainbow. They are all unique and special in their own way. They are all guaranteed flaws, idiosyncrasies, talents, strengths, and weaknesses. As we evolve, so do others. As we deal with our messy stuff, so do they. I think, sometimes, our expectations are high, and we simply think that the other person "knows" or "should" understand. Well, that's not the case, most of the time. Most people are not psychic. ;) Communication is key to understanding. </div><div><br /></div><div>I believe we should have expectations, for sure. If you didn't have expectations, you'd simply be a doormat to everyone. We must also have personal boundaries because we need to take care of ourselves. People can forget, get ornery, and lash out, but you have the right to assertively say something to maintain respect for yourself, and for the other person to learn where you draw the line.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Fragmented Souls</b></div><div><br /></div><div>I don't believe that we are a reflection of the other except in spiritual terms. Rather, I see humans as fragmented (because of our upbringing and hardships in life) and the other person in the relationship is that piece we are missing. That piece that we usually haven't identified with. There's a lot to learn about yourself and others when you interact with human beings. It's not straight forward and there are many angles.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Looking Back</b></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Look back at your relationships from an objective perspective. Rather than criticize and blame, look to see what you learned from that relationship. Certainly, you must look back and analyze things so that you can learn to make better choices and do things differently. So, looking back is important to learn about what needs to shift or change, but it can also be to see what was amazing - what worked well. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>My Own Experience</b></div><div><br /></div><div>With my first husband, I struggled with eating disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, and dissociation. I was very disconnected to life. He taught me to see the beauty in nature: the color of the autumn leaves and the smell of a rose. He motivated me to be my own person and, even though my start-ups didn't come to fruition, he taught me that I had the potential to do what I put my mind to. It didn't work out, but I guess I'm old enough now to see the best in a relationship that went sour. There are always good things. Life's too short to focus on what didn't work all the time. Focus on the good stuff, too!</div></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-7063874483337014672020-06-21T11:21:00.033-07:002020-09-14T18:40:19.250-07:00Celebrating Father's Day Without A Father<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QxHCZfKrQGyXC8hbTJhPpj3VMwhVRdEsZ8w8PJij_kuRaHfC3k0b3Yv3ubas_jqrNiRgKRyZ14-v0IFm7kXmFthPcaWidACyWs8NaML8iJFAMv2Az7eSA-Vs5ekYE6G3AgKtpDVaprrW/s4182/mathieu-stern-nDDVQzkc_fc-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2788" data-original-width="4182" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QxHCZfKrQGyXC8hbTJhPpj3VMwhVRdEsZ8w8PJij_kuRaHfC3k0b3Yv3ubas_jqrNiRgKRyZ14-v0IFm7kXmFthPcaWidACyWs8NaML8iJFAMv2Az7eSA-Vs5ekYE6G3AgKtpDVaprrW/w640-h426/mathieu-stern-nDDVQzkc_fc-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">During father's day, the entire world celebrates fathers which is a wonderful thing when you have a father to acknowledge and celebrate, but what if you don't (or didn't).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Were you fatherless? Your father may have not been completely out of your life. Perhaps he was there, but he was an alcoholic and never had the time of day for you. Or he was busy beating your mom (or you) and never took notice of you. Or did your father show up a couple of times a year when he was free from his business trips. Maybe once mom and dad got divorced, he chose to abandon you and you only saw him, sporadically, every now and then, while he started a new family with someone else.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I had a father that was a chronic alcoholic and a wife beater. Growing up in the 60's and 70's, domestic violence/intimate partner violence was a family matter and no one talked about it, but we were definitely "supposed" to respect him out of fear that we'd get beat ourselves. I tried, on-and-off, seeing my dad, hoping that he would have changed as he aged, but that wasn't the case when I noticed how he treated my step-mother. He also assaulted me back in 2011. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">He is still a misogynist and hates the idea of women being outspoken. He still has a crazy amount of hate and contempt towards women. You'd never guess this if you didn't know him, though, but if you got into any sort of a political argument, his colors would be revealed rather quickly. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In any event, the day so many children acknowledge and celebrate father's day; I wanted to acknowledge the children and adults that aren't celebrating father's day. Perhaps over the years, you found another way to celebrate this day.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Maybe you found a mentor, an uncle, or a friend that fits the description and fills your needs, now. I found it quite difficult not having a father; I craved having a father to look up to, to help guide me, and to run to when I needed support. I felt very alone without that father-figure. It was really difficult as a girl growing up. Even though he was so misogynistic, I tried with all my might to see his ways so that I could be with him, but it just didn't work as a young girl growing into a woman and growing into my own ways and world views. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's also quite odd that my husbands never had a father that I could meet or admire. All three died before I met them. It is interesting to say the least. What was I supposed to learn?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My father is the omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience around me. My father is with me always guiding me. As long as I am present and always asking, he is right here with me and embracing me . . . always and forever. That's what I learned!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As the entire world celebrates father's day, you may be experiencing loss because you had a dysfunctional or absent father. So, for all the girls and boys that didn't grow up with a father: a father that chose to be absent, a father that was a chronic alcoholic, or a father that was an abuser, well done for getting by without him. It may have been very difficult, but you did it, so be proud of yourselves. You are seen!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-78224180988300841942020-06-09T09:00:00.022-07:002020-09-14T18:40:32.226-07:00Are You Serving Your Thoughts and Worries or This?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxjVqX6217yGn2VhwB8df9yLS0umz4KR90a4xJlDy_2BZt2pJoEtWqmbFrRPmVJPHbob1dpZBX3qwcBsEc2nCPT-ncKSM5foF2LCAL3q9OsHnE_5G4P3usUPcjuOYlcaAUigt3lWlrLG_7/s3872/paola-chaaya-eAkjzXCU0p0-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2592" data-original-width="3872" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxjVqX6217yGn2VhwB8df9yLS0umz4KR90a4xJlDy_2BZt2pJoEtWqmbFrRPmVJPHbob1dpZBX3qwcBsEc2nCPT-ncKSM5foF2LCAL3q9OsHnE_5G4P3usUPcjuOYlcaAUigt3lWlrLG_7/w640-h428/paola-chaaya-eAkjzXCU0p0-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div>When you're struggling with mental health issues, it's difficult to get out of your head and think about who you're serving. Are you serving your thoughts and your worries - the darkness that keeps you restrained? Or are you serving your presence, inner-state, your divinity? <div><br /></div><div>When you struggle with mental health issues, you are, typically, caught up in your head most of the time. It's difficult to see this when you're in it. I know I couldn't distinguish the difference when I first started learning how to get present, but if you could just take a few seconds of your time and become present by listening to your breath or focusing on your heart, you'll immediately know or realize a "shift" occurred. This "shift" is a release of tension, even if it was only for a moment, from being in the space of your head to being in your present state of awareness of your entirety. </div><div><br /></div><div>When you're in your head, full of thoughts and worries, there is a strong resistance in your body that you don't really recognize because you are (sort of speak) cut off from your body. When you get present or centered, you can literally feel a shift from your head to your wholeness. <div><br /></div><div>I can talk about mental (or brain) health because I struggled with mental illness all my life, and I still have to find ways to manage my head-space. It never really goes away for good because of the way life is and the challenges we constantly. A time will come when an event or a circumstance will overwhelm you and you'll need to find a way to work through it. Today, when I have days of darkness and when it feels like my ankles are tied or I have no control, I may sit in this place for a little while - this place of darkness.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>What's different today from yesterday is that I reach out. Reaching out looks like . . .</div><div><br /></div><div>I.) Asking good questions. Where did this all begin? What was I doing? What was I thinking? What was it about that that made me spiral downward? What haven't I worked through? Is there something that needs to be addressed (or looked at) that I've been hiding from myself? </div><div><br /></div><div>II.) Listen to your body. My body is a good indicator. Where can you feel the resistance? Does your body tense up? Do you start shallow breathing at some point? Pay attention to your body posture? Do you begin to slouch? If you are lying in bed, do you succumb to a fetal position?</div><div><br /></div><div>III.) Breathe: Typically, I am shallow breathing, so I make sure I start to breath deeply to get some oxygen into my body and brain. I open up my chest cavity by pushing my shoulders back.</div><div><br /></div><div>IV.) At this point, I may reach for my iPhone and watch a video or read something inspirational. <a href="https://www.joelosteen.com/Pages/Home.aspx" target="_blank">Joel Osteen</a>. <a href="https://grantcardone.com/about/" target="_blank">Grant Cardone.</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkIBB4C6JxQxDQhtFVFfv7A" target="_blank">Brandon Dawson</a>. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspy9Ay2Z9VI__qS7Fdbs6Q" target="_blank">Bill Johnson.</a> <a href="https://anitamoorjani.com/" target="_blank">Anita Moorjani</a>. I am in business creation right now in my life so I watch some highly influential people that have amazing stories to tell about their own journey as well as ministries. Read scripture. Watch ministries. Listen to music. Write a poem. Pray. Do whatever works for YOU! We are all different. </div><div><br /></div><div>V.) I will ask myself existential questions like, Who am I? Is this forever? What is the meaning of my life? Am I in alignment with it?</div><div><br /></div><div>VI.) Then, I will make decisions from my state of well-being. I may unfollow people that are not authentic or sincere or have been selling their products and services in a way that instills fear. I may rewrite my goals, or reassess and edit them . . .</div><div><br /></div><div>The process is not, usually, quick since my emotional state doesn't shift that fast especially when I get too deep into the darkness. And that's why it's so important to stay in check everyday and <u>throughout</u> the day!</div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday was that kind of day and as the day progressed, I could feel my energy waning. By the evening, I was not facing what I needed to, so I went onto Instagram and became a zombie scrolling mindlessly wasting time when I should have been reading scholarly papers. After I put my phone away, I started the process, just as I laid out above. I still had to work through some stuff this morning, but I am in a better place.</div><div><br /></div><div>The point is, check in with yourself everyday and throughout the day. I've always been a very sensitive and emotional person, and I think people like us pick up the energy around us quite easily. If we don't check in with ourselves regularly, we may be opening up ourselves to heavy energy that can take us down quickly. But then again, perhaps, I need to be around more optimistic and happy people.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://cardoneuniversity.com/" target="_blank">Grant Cardone</a> says in his sales program, "If you are feeling the rejection, you don't have enough people in your pipeline." I think the same is true for feeling and being optimistic and happy. If you have that one negative person around you all the time, it's pretty difficult to be happy and positive. Having one negative person around you all the time will cause you to be that way too, but having a dozen or so positive people around you, that one negative person will get muffled out! </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, ask yourself, "Who Am I Serving?" My thoughts or my presence? "Which one keeps you mentally and emotionally healthy?"</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-36479205598091069212020-06-08T07:04:00.020-07:002020-09-14T18:40:44.471-07:00When Will It Ever Be the "Right" Time?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9p_ZrOR0h9zjDzwwBMBOhBig4Bk-qrKuZlo1vNxWHjmLmqfeBzz5cgN8MTjCwSnAlijFZUGyV4561QaiZYDhiE605ekNJbu7h4PmSVVevYsHV-zeO68txALFc5lketyLV1Wn0hYV6PcSX/s6000/rumman-amin-GKlMfgZ2fpw-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9p_ZrOR0h9zjDzwwBMBOhBig4Bk-qrKuZlo1vNxWHjmLmqfeBzz5cgN8MTjCwSnAlijFZUGyV4561QaiZYDhiE605ekNJbu7h4PmSVVevYsHV-zeO68txALFc5lketyLV1Wn0hYV6PcSX/w640-h426/rumman-amin-GKlMfgZ2fpw-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div>I pulled out a beautiful wooden box where I stored valuable little trinkets from the back of my closet this weekend. My son gave it to me a few years back as a Christmas present. I stored little photos and charms, and just about anything that was tiny, so that I wouldn't lose them. <div><br /></div><div><b>Busyness</b></div><div><br /></div><div>But during the past eight years, I've moved three times. Eventually this little wooden box got pushed to the back of my closet. I kept telling myself that I'd eventually move it forward and put it somewhere to display it. That time never seemed to come. I was busy dealing with a difficult relationship. I moved. I went to school to upgrade some courses. I moved again. I pursued my undergraduate degree. I moved again. I was back in school studying graduate courses, but the house was also very small. I seemed to be continuously busy and it was never the right time. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Is There Ever The Right Time</b> </div><div><br /></div><div>But, I started to think about "when it would be the "right" time to use the things that I like or bring things out of storage?" It never seemed to be the right time because I was busy either moving or going to school. <div><br /></div><div>This weekend, before I go for my leave of absence, I decided to do an overhaul in my home - tossing out academic papers, reorganizing my workout area, and dusting in corners that haven't seen daylight for a very long time. I came across this beautiful wooden box. To open the box, you had to slide the top layer horizontally off to the side, and within this top layer, there was a piece of glass that held some tiny pictures. I went to open it, and the glass fell through, about 1/2 way down into the box which jarred it from opening completely. The box, itself was in pretty good shape (although the mechanisms or the hinges weren't), but the glass and the photos had worn. At first, I was motoring through it like it was another inconvenience. Then I stopped to think about it for a while. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>The Meaning of the Wooden Box</b></div><div><br /></div><div>I kept this box because it had meaning. It was a piece of history in time that I could hold onto. Every time I looked at it, it reminded me of my son and the day he gifted it to me. Although I kept it in storage, out of sight, I "intended" to pull it out at one time or another and use it. But that time never seemed to come. There was always something to do and no place to put it. As I looked at it, I came to realize that even when we "store" things hoping to use them at a later date, they still age, they still degrade with time. Somehow, I kept thinking that "one day" I would have the right (or perfect) place in my home to display the box. That day never came and during the time that I waited to display it, the box deteriorated. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Everything Gets Old</b></div><div><br /></div><div>It was a melancholy kind of moment, knowing that the things that I want to hold dear in my heart will eventually deteriorate, age, and die. Sure the memories are still there within me, but the tangible items (such as the wooden box my son gave me) will bring back the memories. Without the box, no doubt, the memories will fade. </div><div><br /></div><div>I retrieved the items that were in the wooden box, but it got me thinking. I have items stored (that are still working) in my house that I don't use. Why not give them away. I did. I also have pictures and some trinkets stored out of sight. Why not bring them out so that I can see them. I have. </div><div><br /></div><div>The point of this post is that many of us store items in out cupboards and closets, hoping, some day, to use them or display them. But, I'll ask you, "when will there ever be the "right" time." Life keeps us busy with stuff, too busy for that matter. We need to slow down and think (or rather reflect) on what's important.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Purpose</b></div><div><br /></div><div>I seem to be reflecting a lot more these days. Perhaps because there has been so many revelations and turns in my life. It's hard not to stop and ask, "what's important?" I know my time is limited, and this question seems to be so much more relevant now than ever before so that I make better choices about how I pursue my life and what I want out of it. </div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-36173051946182016082020-06-07T11:16:00.013-07:002020-09-14T18:41:02.590-07:00Middle Aged Women and Their Risk for Suicide<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHx5NUBFVD3qAFKPpwYiaWuwJN2bFFEjhtAhJTeUQB8A8db73Pp_6FCedvrvxXmF4mqGoGGhH0Dz4h9hh65EAwrMfUiC1LuQvBLBj_kfangBTRq9LPOFrhVgpXC3Za_UDTbO_cqKR2ShiH/s6000/artem-beliaikin-j5almO1E8rU-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHx5NUBFVD3qAFKPpwYiaWuwJN2bFFEjhtAhJTeUQB8A8db73Pp_6FCedvrvxXmF4mqGoGGhH0Dz4h9hh65EAwrMfUiC1LuQvBLBj_kfangBTRq9LPOFrhVgpXC3Za_UDTbO_cqKR2ShiH/w640-h426/artem-beliaikin-j5almO1E8rU-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Rates of Suicide Increasing</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The mental health toll of the pandemic is only beginning, and we have yet to see the full impact of it. The National Center for Health Statistics recently reported that suicide rates increased by 35% between 1999 to 2018 in the USA alone, and it continues to rise.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Suicide Among Middle Aged Females</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Among females, suicide rates were highest amidst 45 to 64 years of age with excessive rates being in urban areas. It's a worrying trend for women, and pinpointing the reasons is challenging because the causes are so complex. Risk factors include mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, substance use problems, and chronic pain. A previous history of childhood abuse or trauma can be a risk factor. Environmental factors such as unemployment, a financial crisis, and a divorce can influence the decision to commit suicide. However, the constant and accumulated stressors of life can be a factor as well; situations, circumstances, hardships, and other problems that pile up on a daily basis. There are many reasons for suicide; it's not easy to understand, either, because there are so many influences and everyone is different.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Increased Risk Factors</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So how does a woman try to stay mentally and emotionally healthy or sane in a pandemic? With the added stress of children being home full time and having to home school them, increased responsibility of multitasking work and home life, isolation from helpful family members or friends, increased spousal tension or even violence, or a decrease in finances, it makes it increasingly difficult to feel like you are above the water's surface. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>My Dark Days</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When my mental space is not on right, I can get in to some really dark places, and rather quickly. I've also noticed that problems never seem to come in ones. Once the flood gate opens up, several come crashing in. I've always struggled with depression and anxiety, and I can crash like a bad train wreck. It's a mess from the dominoes effect. What's really crazy, is how quickly I can go there - to those dark places of contemplating suicide. It's that feeling of worthlessness that begins to plague me again. It's never a slow step-by-step process; it simply arises, and like a vacuum sucks me in. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Pattern of Thinking</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I know it's from the chronic trauma I had experienced during my childhood years, and I know it is also a pattern of thinking. I've studied this for years; learning how to get better - mentally and emotionally. I also know that you not only have to manage your mind, but you have to "train" your mind to think a different way, and that's where the real work comes in, especially when you have such a rigid personality like me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's funny; I say that I have or had a rigid personality, yet I am so tolerant and accommodating. I am very flexible and adaptive in many ways. It's not that my outward personality reflects this rigidity. It's my mental state concerning how I think about myself - my self worth.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>How to Keep Your Mental State Healthy</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The best way to keep your mental state healthy, is to keep checking in with your self. Reflection is key. No matter how hard it is to stop thinking and get out of your mind, you have to! You have to get out of your head and go inward. If this is difficult for you, start listening to your breath first. This strategy of listening to your breath was the first way I learned how to get present. I would get so caught up in my mental state that my body froze into inaction. A deep, hard breath forced me out of my rigid state and got me conscious. Try this first if you struggle with PTSD or C-PTSD as well; it is the first step to get present. Some people pinch themselves; others may yell out; whatever it is, the first step is to get conscious to your state so that you move out of your head and into your body. You can then objectively observe what's going on rather than be caught up in the emotional and mental chaos of what's going on. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You will realize life is worth living once you get passed the darkness. Reach inward, and if you are having a difficult time reaching inward, reach out to someone.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Emergency State</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you are not only in suicide contemplation but in the thought process of planning your suicide, please reach out to someone you trust. Call your local help line, now! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Greater Vancouver BC (604) 872-3311</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">BC Wide 1 (800) 872-0113</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Canada Wide 1 (833) 456-4566 or Text 45645</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">USA Wide 1 (800)-273-8255</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-88042525929688977192020-06-05T15:20:00.015-07:002020-09-14T18:41:15.338-07:00Who Do You Trust To Be Your Mentor?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9_uerqwmNHM-vsatQPyw3U49nmkFX5upCU9ba9wApaHbBIwkJn7y9KIA0n9400WyeFfQqlROSSqHUVkARb0XK6T1vfOh1V4T8YE9CwM7aeQVw4RZunk48IuZplIkHMdPc0rfMjMPTcE04/s5091/hannah-skelly.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3394" data-original-width="5091" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9_uerqwmNHM-vsatQPyw3U49nmkFX5upCU9ba9wApaHbBIwkJn7y9KIA0n9400WyeFfQqlROSSqHUVkARb0XK6T1vfOh1V4T8YE9CwM7aeQVw4RZunk48IuZplIkHMdPc0rfMjMPTcE04/w640-h426/hannah-skelly.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>I follow several people on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/grantcardone/" target="_blank">social media</a>, but when it's time to make a decision to jump into one of their programs (e.g., <a href="https://grantcardone.com/mentor" target="_blank">mentorship</a> . . .), I go with the one that has shown consistency in their behavior (trust) - behavior traits that I'm looking for anyway.<div><br /></div><div><b>Logical Decision Making</b></div><div><br /></div><div>I like to observe, listen, and ask questions from a distance before I jump in and enroll myself into a program because there are so many online. I spent thousand upon thousand of dollars within the past couple of decades; some being worthy of the cost and others not so much. Many get it right with their advertising, promotions, and marketing, but many also don't produce the results!</div><div><br /></div><div>I check to see how these individuals respond to others, if they respond, if they are the leader of the teams they hold, if they participate (e.g., speak, coach) in their programs, if they are authentic, etc. Honestly, it takes me a long time to trust others. It is from their actions that I learn to trust them or not, though. It is not by their words alone.<div><br /></div><div>To deviate a bit, I recently filled out the <a href="https://www.cardoneventures.com/response" target="_blank">DISC assessment</a> with another mentorship program I belong to. I fill out many of these assessments to gain insight about myself. It is not that I don't know who I am from a business or professional standpoint, but, somehow, these assessments define the traits and characteristics so eloquently and with so much more description. In the assessment, trust was explained: <i>I tend not to extent trust until it has been earned</i>, and I can say without a doubt that this is true for me.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Going In the Wrong Direction</b></div><div><br /></div><div>In any event, I've been watching <a href="http://www.grantcardone.com" target="_blank">Grant Cardone</a> for a few years while I was in my undergraduate studies and now in my graduate studies. The first book I purchased was <a href="https://store.grantcardone.com/collections/allproducts/products/the-millionaire-booklet" target="_blank">The Millionaire Book</a> and then <a href="https://store.grantcardone.com/products/the-10x-rule-book?_pos=13&_sid=6576e04b8&_ss=r" target="_blank">The 10X Rule</a> came second. I was in my third year of undergraduate studies when I realized that nursing wasn't for me (that would take a book to explain), but I was still stuck in my old rigid beliefs - since I started the program and was already two years into it, and I left my home town to study, I said to myself, "I'd better just stick it out." It's called the "sunk cost fallacy" as my son identified. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, the audio was amazing. I needed something to help me figure out where I was going in life, and I had to think <i>big</i> since I was already in my 50's. Grant was to the point, honest, sincere, authentic, and genuine, and he just made sense; everything that I love about a person. The audio was not only motivational (we know motivation never lasts); it made sense: you put in more effort, you get more results! Grant had great energy, was wholesomely honest about how to get from point A to point B (and be absolutely realistic about it without fluffing it up), and, in the meanwhile, talked about the psychology of the human behavior (whether he knew he was doing it or not) which I absolutely loved. I really believe that individuals that have experienced hardships as young kids and that were able to find their way by surpassing their hurt, pain, and the mental charge and chaos, are exceptional beings. He's one of them. His story touched me.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Building Trust</b></div><div><br /></div><div>He may be off the wall. He may get a little crude. He may present himself as a man's man. Yet, I relate. He has his highs and he has his lows. He's intense, yet he's gentle. He throws off some arrogance and interrupts on occasion, but he also shows great humility. He embodies diverse characteristics and seems to show them with ease. But when push comes to shove, he is sincere and really cares. While the world instills fear, he instills a strategy - a plan to feel safe. He doesn't promote fear to sell his products and services. He knows they are worth it to keep us focused on what's important. And, that is what has built my trust in him. Observation of human behavior over several years can tell you a lot! You could never understand this if you watched a couple of his videos or read a couple of his posts and determined who he was at that point. You wouldn't be able to "get" him or anyone else for that matter. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Someone To Believe In You</b></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://grantcardone.com/" target="_blank">Grant Cardone</a> believes in our potential. He believes in it so much that he never gives up. Another quality that I love about him. When I was a kid, I didn't have anyone that believed in me. I tried to show that I didn't care (with an attitude), but I really did care. I needed, I longed for, someone to believe in me. </div><div><br /></div><div>I believe we all know we are built for more. Most of us fear stepping up and into that potential due to the consequences that come with it like the dealing with the haters and the criticizers or the loss of friendships and even family members. We may also not step into it because we lack the support. Keep seeking your support system. They're out there somewhere. When you finally find the right people that support you and truly want you to succeed, that is when you really found a family that cares. <i><u>The 10X Family</u></i>!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Who Do You Trust to Be Your Mentor?</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Who do you trust to be your mentor - for your business, career, or relationships? They may not be your typical academia business book ideal, but that's not what or who you should be looking for. Look for the one that is credible and authentic in your eyes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div><div><br /></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-20024336436915878792020-06-05T11:39:00.010-07:002020-09-14T18:41:30.407-07:00Sexual Trauma Requires Holistic Healing<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRMBhEBX-RzpF7LxUYJf4zgcV70auMdzFSDM42v7PiYmuMVTqmVJDTSE3KxRpwGCAEw-w_vI3RwzOxvqOBsHnMtix7OfjDdrDYlWKWdXO2JePPl8atPVgJuOTSzjUH0d9Zsd3A93_kkCDG/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRMBhEBX-RzpF7LxUYJf4zgcV70auMdzFSDM42v7PiYmuMVTqmVJDTSE3KxRpwGCAEw-w_vI3RwzOxvqOBsHnMtix7OfjDdrDYlWKWdXO2JePPl8atPVgJuOTSzjUH0d9Zsd3A93_kkCDG/w640-h640/As+I+healed+from+trauma....jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">With sexual trauma from childhood and adolescents, dysfunction is not only physical; it is mental, emotional, spiritual, AND sexual. But the thing with chronic childhood trauma is that it is also developmental; this means that through each developmental stage, the child is affected in a different way. Working with trauma survivors during one particular developmental age, the attention can be focused but with chronic trauma that occurs over one's developmental childhood and adolescent lifespan, healing from the trauma will be long and arduous, as you can only imagine. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There is a huge gap in the health care system for trauma survivors of sexual abuse and violence and survivors of chronic or cumulative childhood violence. Physical wounds heal. Mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual wounds are not the same. The abuse in embodied in their spirit, their muscles, and and their living cells. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>The Research</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">During my masters studies, I recognized that when a woman enters the emergency department (or first point of contact in the health care system) for help, it is usually the physical needs that are noted by the provider and nurses, and so they help mend what they visually see. But many stop there. They don't take the time to understand what may be lying deeper under those wounds. Health care providers (HCP) must look at individuals "holistically" not simply physically. If they did this simple act, they could provide much needed resources to the women that enter the system. Sure, it is difficult to ask. You may be thinking that you (as a HCP) are placing these women at risk if you ask how they got the injuries. However, the majority of the studies show that directly asking these women benefits more than not asking. It shows that you care and are concerned for them and many women who've expedience violence respect that. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">At the same time, HCP's tend to fear asking women about why they have the physical injuries and if they need support because they do not know how to respond. And yet many HCP's don't ask because they discriminate women who've been violated. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>A Lot of Work to Do</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There is still a lot of work to do. Women who have experience violence (e.g., domestic violence/intimate partner violence, family violence, sexual violence, and childhood sexual abuse) are continually being victimized and re-abused by the public. This has to STOP! The consequences linger for a lifetime because the layers are so deep, especially when it comes to chronic and cumulative traumas. Sexual trauma and all trauma requires "holistic healing." Until this occurs, only pieces of the individual will be healed. The individual will continue to remain fragmented and lack wholeness.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-38567880454951917242020-05-28T11:04:00.014-07:002020-09-14T18:41:43.251-07:00How Trauma Survivors Struggle With Knowing Their Worth<div id="iSOVCl" style="background-color: #faf9f7; box-sizing: border-box; color: #1a1a19; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.2rem; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration-line: inherit; vertical-align: inherit;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-gpR-kpkp4-im72FZppbKrnZJ4zab9UHxTY-N9yGD3bTgKuty_8OIIn6iQVFwPcUn3LpkSlspj49_in9DsD-56uVHGpAD-rJM0Ovzn4y0fYxsMwkwHHLQqDCRSDjLLYB6ACaQAlUc4BR/s5184/Clock.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2916" data-original-width="5184" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-gpR-kpkp4-im72FZppbKrnZJ4zab9UHxTY-N9yGD3bTgKuty_8OIIn6iQVFwPcUn3LpkSlspj49_in9DsD-56uVHGpAD-rJM0Ovzn4y0fYxsMwkwHHLQqDCRSDjLLYB6ACaQAlUc4BR/w640-h360/Clock.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><font size="6">Knowing Your Worth</font></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>A WISE PARABLE</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I'd like to share a parable. Although it has taken on many
forms, it still signifies the same meaning - valuing your worth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A dying father called his son to his bedside and presented
him with an old pocket watch. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The father said, “Your grandfather gave this watch to me. It
is over 200 years old. Before I give it to you, I want you to go to the watch
shop and tell the owner you want to sell it. Ask him what price he would pay
for it.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The son went to the watch shop and then returned to his
father’s bedside. He reported, “The watchmaker said he would pay $10 for the
watch because it is old and scratched.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The father then said to the son, “Go to the coffee shop and
ask the owner if he would be interested in buying the pocket watch and what he
would be willing to pay.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The son ran to the coffee shop and quickly returned. He told
his father, “The coffee shop owner said he didn’t have much use for an old
pocket watch but offered $5 for it.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Finally, the father told the son, “Go to the museum and show
them the watch.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The son went to the museum and returned with a look of
astonishment on his face. He whispered, “Father, the curator at the museum said
he'd pay $1 million for this pocket watch!”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>LESSONS</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The father laid his head back, closed his eyes and said: “I
wanted you to experience for yourself that the right place, and the right
people, will value you in the right way. Never put yourself in the wrong place,
with the wrong people, and then get angry when you don’t feel valued. Don’t
stay in a place, or with people, that don’t value you. Know your worth and
while being confident in your own value look for the value and the potential
worth of others.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>CHILDHOOD TRAUMA</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">However, and especially for childhood sexual trauma
survivors, this wise parable is not easily implemented. A child of sexual
trauma does not recognize their worth. When a child's brain structure and
function has significantly changed during their developmental years due to
chronic and cumulative abuse, a meaningful parable will not support these adult
survivors.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although the transfer of words of wisdom is very heartfelt
and meaningful, an adult survivor of chronic childhood abuse, has difficulty in
recognizing their worth. In their mind, they can understand this wisdom; in
their heart and body, they cannot take it on. An adult survivor of chronic
childhood abuse is separated from their sense of self. They are disconnected
from who they are at the core of their being. This is what most healers do not
recognize or understand.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>SEPARATION AT THE CORE</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Trauma survivors (e.g., PTSD and C-PTSD) are a unique
population and their healing must be treated as such. They must first address
their pain and body (somatic) experiences to understand where they are at and
learn to release. Understanding allows for this release. Applying positivism
and wise quotes (although heartfelt, meaningful, and true in many ways for many
people) does not work in the "long-term." A short-term quick-fix
supports brief success, but to get to the core of worthlessness, one must go
deep into the healing process. <o:p></o:p></p><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>
Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-11364461244293177512020-05-12T14:25:00.008-07:002020-09-14T18:42:13.591-07:00Mental Health During Uncertain Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4ejffDftt9HlxJvrGW-o2_-wFHaan18g1db63LDOw-7IwZK7jpf0_YASorIsLkR-_6Cn5o2LYIs2xQUYkMRKFbHPtaz3B7okebZZgmX7RXNPGWz4SFj5pSmVEIgqtfIzdbPhVYwvMf55/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3368" data-original-width="6000" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4ejffDftt9HlxJvrGW-o2_-wFHaan18g1db63LDOw-7IwZK7jpf0_YASorIsLkR-_6Cn5o2LYIs2xQUYkMRKFbHPtaz3B7okebZZgmX7RXNPGWz4SFj5pSmVEIgqtfIzdbPhVYwvMf55/w640-h360/uncertain1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Life is scary in uncertain times. People can begin feeling disoriented or dazed. They may have feelings of identity loss. Painful emotions may rise like anger and fear, but also feelings of tension, hostility towards individuals or groups, and fragmentation of self may persist. People may also engage in heightened political behavior or conspiracy theories out of fear. People may feel exhausted or overwhelmed. Anxiety my arise from current situations or from past unresolved issues.<h2 style="text-align: left;">
Touch Heals</h2>
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At the same time, some people may become more creative, have heightened energy, or enhance their personal development. Everyone functions differently. However, one thing is certain, because we are having to physically distance ourselves from others, health experts recognize that this is not a natural way of being. When we distance ourselves from others that we love, we begin to lose our connectedness. We may even feel symptoms like stomach aches, fatigue, headaches, or apathy and depression. We can definitely try to adapt with technology and that certainly helps, but when we lose "touch" - an aspect that comforts and heals us - it affects our health mentally, emotionally, and physically.</div>
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Reach Out and Connect</h2>
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In times such as these, we have to learn how to adapt and respond in the face of the continued consequences that are rising. So it's important to stay connected. If you don't have family, perhaps a neighbor. Yesterday, as I walked my two labs, I came across people that were reaching out. They were working in their yards or waiting in an outdoor line up to get into a garden shop. I could see that they wanted to connect - they made an effort to make eye contact, they smiled, and they made short conversation. Certainly, I'd seen many turn their heads away, put their heads down, and make an effort to stay away not only physically distancing but socially distancing themselves. Yet there were many that longed to connect; I embraced them because I needed it.</div>
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Healing</h2>
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Take care of your mental health. Make eye contact; it will warm your heart. Take out a coloring book; it will bring the kid out in you. Bake a pie or some cookies; it will get you to feel the cozies. Start an online business, if you've got the energy; it will bring out the hidden entrepreneur in you. Read a book that's not in your niche; it may create a new perspective. Bring out the builder in you by crafting a shelf; it'll make you feel productive or organized. Start sketching; your imagination may take you to new places that you've never discovered before. </div>
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<br /></div><div><div><b><font size="5">Let's Connect!</font></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>
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Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-57773776451667469082020-05-12T08:16:00.009-07:002020-06-24T16:37:54.718-07:00Demystifying Faith<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Oxford dictionary describes faith as "complete trust or confidence in someone or something; a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion; or based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof."<br />
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In my last blog post I declared that hope comes before faith and no matter how I look at it, if you do not have hope you cannot have faith.</div>
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Why? Because faith is a conviction or complete trust or confidence in something. Hope is a feeling or a desire for a certain thing to happen.</div>
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Lost Faith</h2>
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Let me explain. Some people profess that we've always had faith - that we've always had belief in something or someone, otherwise we couldn't function. And some may not even be able to get out of bed in the morning or step outside.</div>
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But that's the point. When individuals are suicidal or fear struck or have lost complete trust and faith in others including their spiritual conviction (due to a dysfunctional past, for example), they live in a state of survival with a sense of detachment to the world. They go along in life doing things, but separate from others.</div>
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The Disconnected Self</h2>
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This could be difficult for some to understand, but if you've struggled with chronic child abuse and experienced complex post-traumatic stress disorder, then you probably know what I am speaking of. Your sense of self is not one of love and connection. Rather you have no sense of self; you are separated and disconnected from, not only yourself, but others. And, this is why faith doesn't exist, or you cannot access it, while in this state of detachment. </div>
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This is also why people that struggle with separation or detachment have difficulties in relationships. They don't truly understand themselves; so they don't understand others. And if others are not accepting of their way of being, because there is a distinct character in the way these people act and feel, then they will continue to withdraw or go back into isolation. </div>
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The Big Believers</h2>
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When we were born, I believe we all, as little children, were big believers because we were all so innocent. We didn't have the experiences of the world (harsh or otherwise) weigh on us. We had a sense of connection to the greatness of the world. We had this sense of conviction in something (or someone) even though we may not have put our finger on it.</div>
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But as we grew up, and especially if it was in an abusive or dysfunctional environment, our conviction our belief or our faith in greatness dimmed, some more than others. </div>
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Healing</h2>
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With a continued sense of hope, though, faith can be received or unveiled with healing. Get around the right sort of people that will foster good mental and emotional health. Get around people that will support and encourage you to be who you are, who will listen to you, and who will empathize when you share your story.<br />
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I recall reading something a little while back, and it went something like this: When people do not accept you for who you are or when the group of people you are hanging around with do not allow you to share your story to heal or they condemn you every time you speak up, you are mingling with the wrong crowd; you simply haven't met the right kind of people that will listen to you and hear you.<br />
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When we are mingling or hanging out with that negative or wrong crowd, we sometimes begin to think that "everyone" is like that and we need to be like them; we need to hold back or we need to stifle our story. It's not true! You just haven't met the right kind of people that will support you.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>
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Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-64802541347332238402020-05-10T09:08:00.029-07:002020-06-24T16:38:16.219-07:00You Need Hope Before Faith<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you are struggling as badly as I once was with depression, anxiety, stress, eating disorders or suicidal thoughts, don't feel discouraged on the healing journey. You are on the right track. Keep hope in your heart and faith will enter.</div>
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You need to have hope before you have faith. Without hope, there is no faith.</div>
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I've heard several influential people on various social media platforms say that you should give up the word <i>hope</i> and instead use the term <i>faith</i>, and that placing too much confidence in hope can't sustain you. No matter how I look at their opinion, without hope, you cannot sustain yourself! Perhaps these people didn't consider the definition of hope, so I'm going to explain and show you that they both have very different meanings. And I want you to always maintain hope when you are struggling.</div>
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The Oxford dictionary states that the meaning of hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a feeling of trust; wanting something to happen or be the case; and to intend if possible to do something. </div>
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The definition of faith is complete trust or confidence in something or someone; a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof; a symbol of religious belief; and a strongly held belief or theory.</div>
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With hope you go from having a desire or a feeling of wanting something to happen, to faith - having complete trust or confidence in something (or someone). If you don't have hope, you cannot have faith. Neither can you have faith without hope.</div>
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I recall on my lowest days when I contemplated suicide, faith was the last thing on my mind. I was bitter; I was angry; I didn't have faith in anyone or anything. However, to overcome the thoughts of suicide, I had to hang onto hope; hope that my circumstances would change, that I could survive another day on the streets, or that I could keep my chin up long enough in an abusive relationship to see that life wasn't so bleak. </div>
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A Play On Words for Sales</h2>
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So please don't listen to or stop listening to influential people that trip you up with words. This sort of sales technique is downright manipulative and abusive! There is another argument with the word <i>empowerment</i> - the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights. These individuals claim that you are already empowered; you just have to 'let it out', sort of speak. I can tell you, for certain, that you are not empowered if you are suicidal. </div>
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Please stop listening to people that like to confuse you or play with your psyche. Whether consciously or not, or whether they think this is the way to "sell" people on their products and services, it's not the right way to do it. In the process of doing it, they make you feel bad for thinking and feeling a certain way, which is an old school way of selling others on their services and merchandise. This way of selling is obsolete or should be anyway. They are not instilling hope, faith, or self-empowerment into you. Quite frankly, they are instilling self-doubt. </div>
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Awareness</h2>
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To change someone's perspective, is to create awareness by asking powerful and thoughtful questions. Trust your gut. You know what's best. I simply wanted to make you aware that influencing others doesn't mean manipulating others. </div>
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You need hope before faith, and self-empowerment comes when you continue doing the work of healing your mental and emotional self. </div>
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Healing</h2>
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If you are struggling as badly as I once was with depression, anxiety, stress, eating disorders, or suicidal thoughts, don't feel discouraged on the healing journey. Keep hope in your heart, reach out, and faith will enter. </div>
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<div><b><font size="5">Let's Connect!</font></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div>
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Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-82166821136197447422020-04-28T08:39:00.008-07:002020-09-14T18:42:51.493-07:00You Could Change Someone's Life If You Do This<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You Could Change Someone's Life If You Do This</h2>
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I've been attending weekly calls with Co-Active Training Institute and I'm really leaning into the brilliant conversations - connecting with others - about what is changing within ourselves during this time of the pandemic. <div><br /></div><div>Interestingly, one of the participants mentioned that she's noticed that because of the social distancing, people were not only distancing their bodily selves, but they were also avoiding eye contact and conversations. However, another participant chimed in and said the absolute opposite. Within her cul de sac, people were coming together. They were physically distancing themselves from one another, but they were also engaging in conversations more than ever. </div><div><br /></div><div>As coaches, we're curious to what the reasons may be in others' behaviors and, for sure, it may be dependent on the infrastructure, the location, and the socioeconomic status, for example. None of us really know the true reasons behind this behavior unless we have a collaborative conversation, and we can all guess and analyze it to death, but what if just one of us that noticed this type of behavior (withdrawing from others) did something about it; the impact may be significant. You may have the chance to even change someone's life.<br />
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Everyone Has a History</h3>
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Everyone has a history and none of us know what that history is about. In times such as these where we are isolated, it's difficult for some people to reach out. Yes, it's difficult for individuals to reach out and ask for help that struggle with abuse whether it is from the past or they are living in it currently.<br />
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You could have a neighbor that is living in a horrible and violent relationship but you don't know it because she (he) walks out of her front door with a smile on her (his) face every morning. You don't see the bruises because they are hiding underneath her (his) clothes. You may see someone filled with anger. Instead, you judge and say that they should change their attitude because they are disturbing your zen moment. You don't know that this person is struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder and may be having a difficult day. You may also see someone in her back yard bursting out in tears and crying in her arm to try to muffle it. You didn't know that she has a brain injury that causes her to spontaneously react this way or she may have lost a child and her heart longs for her child lost 10 years ago.<br />
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The False Image of Social Media</h3>
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We don't know the circumstances of anyone's life. With so much social media, we get a false understanding of who everyone is. We think everyone is having a 'good' life because that's what they share. I don't even share my bad days! Rather, I, typically, work through them in prayer or meditation. Don't get caught up with the false images on social media; it's not all real.<br />
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Change Someone's Life</h3>
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So, when you see someone in public, rather than avoid them perhaps because you don't want to feel inconvenienced in having to take the time to hear their story or grievances, stop, make eye contact, and smile. Even through your face mask, others can see you smiling from your eyes. Sure, you may not have the time, but with a friendly smile, you can change someone's life. Taking it one step further, genuinely ask how they are doing - how are they managing with what's happening in life. Going another step farther, ask them if they need anything. Ask if they need anything to support them while they are in isolation. Perhaps they don't have a phone (e.g., they didn't pay their bill or their spouse took it away) and they need you to call someone to help them out.<br />
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Various credible news sources have indicated that domestic violence has increased during the coronavirus lockdown, so we need to be aware of our neighbors well-being and provide the best support we can during these times.<br />
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Whatever the scenario, it doesn't really matter, just make the connection with others. It's pretty simple, though, isn't it; connecting with others, but sometimes we forget about doing the simple things that can positively affect someone's life.<br />
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All of us may feel that we have a greater purpose in life, but it's really about 'stepping into' that purpose today by starting where you're at and that could be connecting with others in your neighborhood and your community.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-32861903722704726872020-04-26T11:39:00.007-07:002020-07-27T20:24:07.295-07:00Seeds of Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span><b>Your job isn't to JUDGE. Your job isn't to figure out if someone deserves something or decide who is right or wrong. Your job is to lift the fallen, restore the broken, and heal the hurting.</b> </span></i></div>
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<i><span>- Joel Osteen</span></i></div>
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Such a beautiful quote to read on my Sunday morning worship. I've become very fond of Joel Osteen's positive messages. When I wake in the middle of the night (usually between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m. PST), I open up my iPhone and listen to his sermons on YouTube. With so much negative news and heavy energy in the air, I'm making it my practice to worship on a daily basis for at least 1 1/2 hours (or on an average). Whether you worship your God, your Source, or your inner Guidance system - in my mind, it doesn't matter how you choose to name It - what is most vital is that you simply do it; go into worship, prayer, or meditation to stay centered in God's grace.<br />
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In today's world, dealing with the COVID19 news, it's easy to get swallowed up by the fear and ignorance of others, and I've come to realize that it isn't my job to be in that energy. Sure, stay up to date with the latest scientific news, don't listen to hearsay, and be socially responsible, but there is no need to wallow in it all day.<br />
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How are you holding up with this pandemic? </h3>
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Initially, I was swallowed up and panicked by it all, but I have learned, as the weeks passed, how to live with the global fear. I've adjusted in a meaningful way: respecting the virus from a scientific standpoint but also knowing that my negative thoughts and emotions can make things worse. Perhaps this is a time for all of us to learn how to be more focused and disciplined so that our mind become stronger and more directed into what we want. It feels like it's a time to get clear with what we want out of life while we are here.<br />
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Has the coronavirus pandemic changed your life? </h3>
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I feel the coronavirus pandemic has changed my life in many ways, and I'm rather grateful for it. One of the ways is that I've been building a stronger relationship with God. Rather than approaching the Lord from a needy, wanting perspective, as well as coming from a place of weakness, worry, or a lack of worth, I'm coming from a place of knowing that my God is an almighty God that loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me. So while building my relationship with him, I pretty much talk and discuss things throughout my day as though I am talking to my best friend. I'm no longer<i> talking at</i>, rather I'm <i>talking with</i>. There is something quite different about how I've approached this relationship.<br />
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Where do you get your seeds of hope? </h3>
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Where do you get your seeds of hope? In others or in the Lord? In fear or in your God source? In the media or in prayer? If you feel as though you are in a state of panic and worry, take some personal and quiet time for meditation or prayer, and see how it changes your state.<div><br /></div><div><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div>
<br /></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-31640631059704827422020-03-31T09:25:00.013-07:002020-09-14T18:43:12.905-07:00Has COVID-19 Changed Who We Are?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUFmLjM9KhbbTzUnqN6qjjsN-aErQJDdrJkSACraquqZDtYvZpTP6hpnt2nJ8WTaSekde5Q-4IJKBDQ_phhZN4iNsnhHvtAj9FAyC1VRRiyzmQaqM643DltMW3W8jEX8AV45uhkSovAxmV/s2048/joyful-adult-daughter-greeting-happy-surprised-senior-mother-3768131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUFmLjM9KhbbTzUnqN6qjjsN-aErQJDdrJkSACraquqZDtYvZpTP6hpnt2nJ8WTaSekde5Q-4IJKBDQ_phhZN4iNsnhHvtAj9FAyC1VRRiyzmQaqM643DltMW3W8jEX8AV45uhkSovAxmV/w625-h416/joyful-adult-daughter-greeting-happy-surprised-senior-mother-3768131.jpg" width="625" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Many people are trying to go about life as though they are not affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. They want to carry on with life as though they are wearing shields of armor keeping their heads above the coronavirus and business as usual. We have others that think this pandemic is fake news and it is all a sham. "It's simply the flu," they say while we have health care professionals (RN's that I know) trying to save lives and dying in the meantime. And yet there are others that are fear-struck, hoarding materials such as surgical and N95 masks and toilet paper, as though they are the only one's that want to survive this COVD-19 pandemic and save their families.</div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><br />Keeping a schedule is important to keep our sanity. I definitely get that. However, I really believe that we need to stop and think about what is going on. Going on as usual is simply a way to keep ourselves in denial. Perhaps, what we need to do is to wake up and recognize what is happening within ourselves and our world and ask ourselves why. Do we need to start thinking differently and more deeply to lead a more meaningful and socially responsible life.<br /><br />On my Instagram feed, I see several fitness influencers continue to advertise their tight derrieres and abdominals so that they can continue promoting their products for others to purchase. I get that 50% of the population in Canada and the USA are now unemployed (if not more) and we all are looking for sources of income in a somewhat panicked mode. However, what was working for us before this COVID-19 pandemic will not be working for us during and after this pandemic. Are tight derrieres and abs a priority right now when there is a pandemic going on and people are in survival mode? Is having 3 or 4, 30-pack toilet paper roll packages okay when your neighbor has one single roll left. Answering these questions confirms that we are self-absorbed and leading life and business from a self-centered model.<br /><br />I believe in God or a higher source and when something this significant happens, I also believe that it didn't happen for us to 'continue life as usual.' Over the years, I've watched American governments strip health care systems from money and resources vitally needed to equally care for our population. As well, our health care system has been running at full capacity before this pandemic started. If you voted for the right, you looked for a strong economy and jobs which then usually depleted the left; the health care system. If you voted for the left, you looked for money to be funneled into the health care system and community resources. Now we are in a predicament, aren't we, without both. Perhaps this should tell us a little about the right and the left and how important both are needed for us to function effectively.<br /><br />I've always wondered why politics had to be either right or left, and why couldn't it be both, somehow. Why couldn't we restructure the social system and the economy to suit all of our needs? Why so much opposition?<br /><br />To be socially responsible, we need to consider the basic needs for human life - food and water, shelter, and rest. When we have our basic needs met, we can then move up the ladder and begin to thrive without stealing, cheating, or lying. Right now the government of Canada is giving subsidies of $500 a month for renters. Sure, that's great, but you're asking people that have been laid off to stay home so that they do not spread the coronavirus. Asking them to stay home may happen for a short term until food runs out, but then what happens after that? Here is Vancouver, BC, rent is high. I'm simply waiting for the vandals to begin downtown. I see many shops boarding up their windows and doors. That won't keep people out when many are trying to survive and the government is requesting ludicrous things. Good is not good enough anymore as it was, perhaps, in the past! Neither is a health care system that lacks funding and beds and other resources to keep nurses functioning to their full capacity and helping the sick. I studied the attrition rate of nurses in my masters program. Just wait for an increase in attrition rates after the pandemic. You don't want to sufficiently look after our nurses, well they won't be risking their lives to look after you when you get sick either. Right now, they are mandated to do the work. With the increase in baby boomers coming into the system, let's see how many more leave the system with the decisions that are being made right now with this pandemic. <br /><br />No matter how we look at it, we will never agree, so we should simply agree to disagree. However, we all have two priorities in life: our health and income to get our basic needs met. When we have these two needs, we can look beyond survival and be productive in our search for better solutions. We can move beyond our self-absorbed and self-centered model and think community or think of the world as a whole. <br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">
Be safe. Be well. You are loved.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><b>Let's Connect!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>
</div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-44329040771289133892020-02-14T09:14:00.009-08:002020-09-14T18:43:24.252-07:00How Trauma Is Linked to Shame and Disgust<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A History of Trauma</h2>
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I've been in the process of healing for many years trying to understand why I do the things I do and why I behave a certain way. I did not have an upbringing of simply getting a slap or a spank here and there; or reprimanded because I came home passed my curfew; or had a parent that was a harsh disciplinary. I was chronically sexually, emotionally, and mentally abused since I was a small child. After growing up with chronic incest and chronic abuse from family members, I was also sexually assaulted twice, had several experiences of sexual harassment, was physically assaulted by my father and siblings as a teen, and then went into one relationship of domestic violence.<h2>
Professionals Just Catching Up</h2>
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Trauma was my life. So, when I began the healing process, I looked at spirituality to guide me, but far too often the terms "let go" and "forgive" were constantly repeated as though it was an easy task. Sure, letting go can be pretty straight forward for the average person with an average upbringing, but when it comes to chronic trauma that's progressed to Complex-PTSD, the healing process is a "whole new friggin ballgame!" Today, research is showing this and more and more professionals are discussing this which is great, but it's also 'about time!' In any event, I learned by trial and error so that I could try to live a sane life.</div>
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Shame and Disgust</h2>
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With that sort of an upbringing of chronic trauma came a whole lot of chronic shame and shut down, and a whole lot of disgust. When a person is habitually or chronically shamed, they take in that badness. Disgust is the biopsychological way that people begin to get out that shame that doesn't belong within a person as Peter A. Levine described. But, the thing is, if you don't know how to eliminate the disgust by 'getting it out of your body,' then the shame remains.</div>
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Getting Unstuck</h2>
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How do you get out or unstuck from the shame? </div>
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You must go into the shame (it's best with the support of a knowledgeable professional) and 'shift' the shame. Going into the shame is basically feeling it and knowing how it exists inside of you. Pay attention to your posture, your expression, and your mannerisms. Then with someone (or yourself) prompting you, ask yourself why it's there. Just be with it, but don't get swallowed up by it. This means that you must stay consciously aware of your state and not resign to the shame. Then ask yourself what it would be like to be rid of the shame. Really think of an alternative - how would you be; how would you behave? As Levine explains, it is about finding new bodily experiences that contradict those of shame and helplessness and freezing/contraction/shut down.<br />
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Learning How to Be Present</h2>
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Movement and dance are great avenues to move the energy or change the state you are in, but it is not simply the movement. You "must" be aware of the inner movement to reconnect with the authentic self. Most trauma survivors can't connect with themselves and others, and that's why it's so difficult to be present in the here and now. Therefore, their relationships suffer including the one with Self.</div>
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To heal yourself from the experiences of trauma that are stuck in your body, you need to go into your bodily sensations. Awareness is key! </div>
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<font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><div><b><font size="5">Let's Connect!</font></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>
<div><br /></div><div>And join me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/coachdesireeleigh/" target="_blank">Facebook @coachdesireeleigh</a> to stay connected on social media.</div>
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In gratitude.</div>
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xo</div>
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Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3095107044186259005.post-23177501840626804702020-02-13T09:18:00.009-08:002020-09-14T18:43:44.816-07:00Why You Should Understand Your Beliefs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ0VU9-z1aj4dPROMTauBP4LVDPoKrrY8zBBAq-A8llt7ubqP3zOZe-tzvTLwh5Sd_y8HwrzdnhGtwKXowbOXa5mhuQ4U7hYO4eK8UM9EI1WD4MwYy_Gkv1E_mpdsP2sdB71kfnIuo_9jH/s6000/jez-timms-ZVgqiPRUX_o-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ0VU9-z1aj4dPROMTauBP4LVDPoKrrY8zBBAq-A8llt7ubqP3zOZe-tzvTLwh5Sd_y8HwrzdnhGtwKXowbOXa5mhuQ4U7hYO4eK8UM9EI1WD4MwYy_Gkv1E_mpdsP2sdB71kfnIuo_9jH/w640-h426/jez-timms-ZVgqiPRUX_o-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></div><h2><b>The AHA Moment About Beliefs</b></h2>
I had an aha moment many years ago. I was quite young - about 20 years old. I had that young lady attitude, too: everything I stood for was right. I thought to myself, "I wasn't a teenager anymore," so I kind of believed I knew it all. Oh boy, was I wrong.<br />
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I was at a party, and this party was quite different from other parties. It was intellectual. We were discussing important things in life like existentialism and other philosophical perspectives. At that time in my life, I had a lot of perspectives, opinions, and beliefs that I stood grounded in, but had no real reasoning for them.<br />
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Towards the end of the party, I recall being quite adamant about a topic while having a conversation with someone, probably in their late twenties and someone that had achieved an undergraduate degree. At the end of the conversation, I thought this man was arrogant and obtuse, although I couldn't deny that he was definitely polite.<br />
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Whatever we were discussing, I was quite passionate about it. So we reciprocated our opinions back and forth. However, at one point, he asked me where I got my information from because I was so adamant about believing it to be "true." I was very black and white. At the end of the conversation, it boiled down to me coming to a realization that what I believed in to be "true" was simply that, "a belief" I picked up from my parents. And that was really what he was trying to point out to me.<br />
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The Educated Arse or Educated Helper?</h2>
He did a good job. Pissed me off. Irritated me. Annoyed me. I looked at him as some educated arse that was trying to flaunt his academic education and make me look like an ignorant arse. But, really, he was trying to get me to look from another perspective and to "critically analyze" where my beliefs came from. He used his questions in such a way to distill down my beliefs and where they were initiated. It was kind of like a taken-aback-aha-moment realizing that my adamant opinion was a belief that came from my parents way of thinking.<br />
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It was, most definitely, a shocker. At that point in my life - my early 20's - I didn't want to be 'like' my parents. Yet, I was. And I had to thank this man for challenging my way of thinking. His way of being really did inflame me, but, at the same time, I sit here over 30 years later still thinking about that moment in my life and how important it was.<br />
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Self-Evaluation</h2>
This man was able to use what he learned in school, the critical thinking aspect, by questioning me about my beliefs. After our conversation, I never again simply accepted my beliefs as truth anymore. Even if I had a strong belief that I lived by, at least, now, I could say that I did a lot of self-reflection and critical analysis to understand why I have them or want them. By having this clear awareness, I am able to monitor, adjust, and change them accordingly.<br />
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There are two reason this topic came about. First, because I am rethinking my way of doing coaching and how I want to present myself within my business. I'm considering podcasting. I have been told over the years of my life that I was a great host and a great interviewer. I can't stand the idea of constantly travelling for business purposes and this may be a way to go. But the point is that I needed to reevaluate my beliefs about why I was staying stuck in the idea that 1:1 coaching was the way to go or what I believed I "liked" the best. My oldest son asked me a question a couple of months ago, and said something to the effect that 'maybe I need to think completely differently from what I'm thinking right now.' He's throwing the same advice back at me as I say to others. :) So, here I am, thinking about my business in a completely different way which may transform into something quite different.<br />
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Know What You Stand For</h2>
Second, right now in the lower mainland (although it is across Canada, too) there are protests going on about indigenous rights. I support peaceful protests. Women's rights wouldn't have changed if we didn't consistently protest for our rights. However, a few of these protesters were interviewed yesterday. To my surprise, they had no idea why they were protesting! It's like having a belief system and not knowing why - the underlying issues. Shouldn't we all be aware of why we have certain beliefs or why we are protesting? Most definitely, otherwise we will not be credible to the majority of the public and our voices will be carried in vain. <br />
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Know what you stand for. Know why you stand for it. But remember that what you stand for and why you stand for it today may change as you grow and change.<div><br /></div><div><div><b><font size="5">Let's Connect!</font></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Go to <a href="https://www.desireeleigh.com" target="_blank">DesireeLeigh.com</a> to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.</div></div>Desiree L Thompsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11348332102383962083noreply@blogger.com0Vancouver, BC, Canada49.2827291 -123.1207375000000249.1169156 -123.44346100000001 49.448542599999996 -122.79801400000002