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Showing posts from February, 2015

Emotional Abuse: What Are the Signs?

Do you recognize the signs of emotional abuse?  You may experience these signs if you are living with someone that physically and verbally abuses you?  You may also experience these signs with others you don't live with, such as brothers or sisters and friends or neighbors.  I wasn't able to recognize the signs immediately.  I was too caught up managing life with my children not considering either my own issues or needs.  I was trying to keep things afloat so that life looked grand from the outside--from the perspective of others--and life did look just fine from the outside; so it was very easy to convince myself that everything was okay.  What's really crazy, though, is that even if outsiders suspected something, they didn't say a word or do anything; everyone lived in this bubble of silence.  This bubble of silence is the craziest thing in the world when you reflect on it, but it happens with child abuse, too!  No one wants to get involved.

These are just five sign…

Controller, Abusers, & Manipulators

In life, we live among a varied population, so we must be able to recognize when we are in danger.  When you have grown up observing domestic violence, have been the subject of childhood abuse or bullying from your siblings, or have been assaulted in any way, we can either be hypervigilant or on-guard to everyone that is around us or we may be unconscious in recognizing the signs of these characteristics.  I know I have been both, but my underlying characteristic is to be hypervigilant and acutely aware of absolutely everything--every facial expression and every pin dropping.  What's important, though, is to recognize the signs by logically analyzing the situation and also staying connected to your gut feelings.

Remember, many abusers, controllers, and manipulators will make the problem yours and tell everyone in their circle of family and friends (and acquaintances) that 'you' are the problem when in fact you are not.  I can compare this behavior to children in a playgr…

Healers Are Warrior Who've Defeated the Darkness

Healers are warriors, whether they are spiritual or not, who have found the courage to defeat the darkness buried within their souls or within the very structure and function of their DNA.  
We awaken with wisdom and a new-found strength to encourage and inspire others to rise above their own darkness--like the lotus flower being released from the mud at the bottom of the pond;  first, with awareness, and, second, with action.
by Desiree Leigh Thompson
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Betrayed By the People We Love and Trust

Feeling betrayed by the people that we love and trust who did not respond to our cries of abuse is a feeling that may never really go away.  It is something that we need to work on on a regular basis to keep the memories and feelings in check.

Many people talk about forgiveness (even I did sometime in the past), stating how important it is to do in order to move on.  Through some real deep self-examination, I realized I was only following a socially conditioned belief.  What is forgiveness, anyways?  Basically, it is an abstract concept.  We made it up.  And, because it is a concept to understand a generalized idea, we can attach anything to it to fit our needs if we choose.

Many people are socially conditioned to believe that we "must" forgive.  Forgiveness has been a huge hype socialized into us for centuries; a way for society to conform, but also a way for society to behave themselves rather than cause a ruckus.  It is a way to silence society.  Even celebrities and gur…