Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Silent Presence

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh


Just letting someone know that you are there for them by holding a safe and sacred space around them is, sometimes, all that they need. This is called silent presence. However, this can be difficult for many of us. We, typically, don't like silence. Just think about when you had your last conversation with someone. Whenever there is a pause in the conversation, someone starts to feel a bit anxious and 'has to' say something. The void feels like it has to be filled. So we fix this by speaking to avoid that space. When you fill in this space by giving advice or making comments, you take away "their" moment to feel the emotions and to heal. Instead, they move out of their body, their feeling and emotions, to hear and think what you are saying. It is a form of distraction and avoidance.

There is a time and place to distract or avoid, but when someone is grieving or sifting through confusing emotions that arise from the memories of a traumatic event, it is, sometimes, best just to listen and give them your silent presence. Remember, it is about them; it is not  about you and your anxiousness or uncomfortable feelings in this moment.

In the end, when someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

What Is No Longer Serving You?

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

As time goes by, some things may not serve you anymore. Do you need to close some doors to serve you better or even to help you heal? xo

Closing doors is a tough thing to do especially with people that we care for, but to salvage our sanity, safety, and spirituality, we may need to close the door to the people that suck the living energy out of us in order to rise higher than we are now--to be who we are intended to be. 

If you want to elevate yourself to the next level, you cannot hang with others that are always bickering and complaining or belittling and harassing. No matter how much you try, eventually, this lower level energy will get to you. You will not be able to sustain your higher energy source. 

Time-and-again, I have heard the words that "no one can make you feel bad; only you can do this to yourself." These individuals state that "you must take responsibility for your own happiness." Yes, this is true, but it's much more easier said than done. Controlling your way of being around people that are constantly griping may not always be the solution. This takes tremendous effort and energy which can leave you feeling exhausted. If people are constantly complaining, you may want to reconsider who you are hanging out with. Otherwise, you will need to have a conversation around this topic and then set some boundaries. 

You can protect yourself with the energy bubble surrounding you. You can cut the cords that are pulling at you on a daily basis, but when you live or work with others everyday that are sucking the living daylights out of you, eventually, you cannot sustain this, and you will falter.

Definitely, there are exceptions to this. I mean ending relationships and moving on. For instance, perhaps you have an ill parent or child. You cannot walk away from the heavy energy of hardship when it is someone you care deeply for. Then you need to take a different route to sustain your higher energy level. You must find avenues in your life that you are grateful for. Sometimes they are difficult to conjure up in a time of grief and pain, but they are there. Look for them, as small as they may seem.

Different routes need different tactics.  Do you need to close some doors to serve you better or to help you heal? Do you need to set boundaries? Or do you need to foster a heart of gratefulness?

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Woman Are Amazing Nurturers

Just a reminder to let you know how frigging amazing you are, and don't you forget that, because us over-givers tend to do that.

Women are nurturers and caregivers by nature. We love to give. We support and encourage. We love to make others happy, but, sometimes, we over-give to the point of exhaustion or resentment and sacrifice our own happiness.

On the flip-side, as nurturers and caregivers, we have a unique ability to make the world a better place for everyone to live. We empathize and inspire. Nevertheless, there are times when we need to schedule time-out and nurture ourselves.

Foster self-care, first. Give yourself the energy you need to continue to be a strong and healthy nurturer, connector, teacher, warrior, lover, and/or a leader. However you are contributing to your higher purpose through your greater self, take responsibility for your energy. Nurture yourself before you nurture others so you can stay strong and enduring.

You are amazing. Remember that, but, first foster daily self-care to be your strong self.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh