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Showing posts from May, 2016

Wake Up! Don't Act Like You'll Live Forever

Live Life Before Death
It's easy to let each day pass by as though you have all the time in the world to live and to do the things you want, but, sometimes, that day leads to weeks and then months and maybe even years.  Life is always busy.  Our work and personal commitments and expectations are even greater today than they were in the 80's.  Stop for a minute or two and take a deep breath.  Where are you right now?  Can you get present?  Be here and now, just for a minute.  Now listen...don't act as though you have a thousand years to live. Mark in your calendar with a big fat felt pen what your hearts desire is, what your heart bleeds for. 
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Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.

Life Is A Dance of Desires and Fears

I had lunch with my son yesterday and we had some great conversation about life.  We talked about our desires, our ambitions, and our fears.  In deep conversation, I found ourselves jumping from our deepest desires to our deepest fears.

Life is a dance, or sometimes I say a balancing act, between what you desire most and what you fear most.  Do you want to take a risk at that new job?  It excites you, but you also have fear of the unknown.  Do you want to go back to school full time, like me, at the age of 50? You get these immense butterflies of excitement and nervousness in your gut, but then you feel that dread saying "what if I don't make it?" or "can I really do this?"

Big decisions are hard decision, but the decisions you don't act upon are the decisions you regret later in life. My son reminded me of an interview a nurse did with a group of elderly dying patients.  Here are the top regrets:

1. I wish I lived a life true to myself and not what others…

Make Peace With Your Past

Make Peace With Your Past

I bled all my life up until I was in my early 40's (according to Iyanla Vanzant).  My choices, my emotions, and my behavior were all stained by the wounds of my past.  Food, alcohol, and drugs were all a part of my choices to drown the hurt and the pain, but, eventually, I realized that none of these delusional  bandages worked. Besides, my children were getting older and they started speaking the truth to my face; that's quite a rude awakening when you want to stay in denial.  It was not only denial that kept me in the dark, though.  I didn't want to feel the pain again, and I knew this was exactly where I had to go.  Eventually, I did go back to feel that pain. It was bloody hard! but the biggest reason I went back was for my children, pure and simple, and a little bit for myself. 
In order to go back and make peace with your past, you need a reason--a BIG reason to want to heal the pain of your past. This big reason will also help you endure t…

Doing the Right Thing

Doing the Right Thing
Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing.  Do you have a circumstance in your life that you know in your heart that if you leave it is the right thing to do, but you also know that it will be the hardest thing you have ever done?  I can think of a few myself where I didn't do the right thing for some time.  Being in violent relationships: allowing myself to be abused while my children watched and allowing family members to abuse me while I stayed silent since I was a child.  It is not easy, and it may take years before you can take that step to do the right thing, but if that is on your mind regularly, it is bound to change.

Things you can do to build strength from within.


1. Reach out to friends, neighbors, motivational seminars, and self-help type lectures (without disclosing anything to anyone because you might not be ready to do this) or reaching out 'and' asking for support and guidance.

2. Call a counsellor or therapist for yourself.…

Why So Long Before Sexual Assault Victims Come Forward

This morning I received the BBC update that Bill Cosby will stand trial on charges of sexual assault. He is accused of drugging and molesting Andrea Constand, although more than forty other women came forward with similar accusations.

I don't know any of these women's stories, but I am glad to see that justice is being served with a trial for rape.  What I do want to know about is...why does it take so long for a rape victim to come forward? 

Barbara Bowman, for example, one of the accusing rape (sexual assault) victims stated in The Washington Post (November 13, 2014) that she received a dismissive response from others so she was convinced that no one would listen to her.  In the Independent news article on November 20, 2014 written by Tim Walker, it stated that some of Cosby's accusers remained silent because they felt intimidated, ashamed, and scared.  One in particular, named Dickinson, stated that she was afraid of being labelled a slut or a whore sleeping her way to…

You Are Worthy

How many times have you believed that your value is based on someone's ability to see it?  Perhaps, you don't actually acknowledge this consciously, however if you take the time to reflect on this question, maybe you will find out that you really do base your value on someone else's ability to see it.  
Many of us see our value only when someone else sees it.  Take, for instance, how many friends you get on Facebook; how many Likes you get for your post; what your boss or professor says to you or doesn't say to you at work or university, respectively.  Many of us will deny that this (the examples I have mentioned) does not affect how we feel about ourselves (our worthiness), but I'd like to call their bluff.  
There is a negative effect when we stay in denial.  When we deny this to our authentic Self, nothing can change from within.  Our value, thus, will always be based on someone's inability or ability to see it.  It is one thing not to acknowledge your dist…

Your Untamed Spirit

Your Untamed Spirit?

Do you remember your untamed spirit?  The one you were born with. If we only looked at life as a blank artists palette (or a playground) ready to be created by our heart and imagination, perhaps we would not tug, pull, or hang on to the things that are not really ours.
Life's traumas, like sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, or growing up watching domestic violence, will try to restrain us, but we must heal and know how to manage what has happened. We must learn to uncover true happiness.  When we are able to do this, life opens us up like the lotus flower emerging from a murky pond becoming that exquisite beauty.  This awakening or awareness or enlightenment, whatever you would like to call it, is like a rebirth; it truly is if you have done the work. 
You are then free to roam without a cage.  Free to dance with life. Free to live with abandon. Free to love as you've never loved before, and I am not specifically talking about lovers. And, free to be…

Courage Is The Most Important Virtue

Maya Angelou
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Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 Life-Changing Steps to increase your confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams. 

The Journey of 1000 Miles

A journey of 1000 miles is a statement for any goal.  This could be for speaking up about injustices like childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. It could be about healing from past abuses; taking that step to call a counsellor or therapist.  It could be about saying, No, you can't do this to me anymore! It could be about self-care.  What ever your first step is, it is a first of many to come.  Be courageous and brave as you already are. Don't give in, and don't give up
Let's Connect!
Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.

How Being Emotionally Attached Affects Your Goals

It is important to know what you don't want, but it is most important to know what you do want.  To find out what you want, it's good to eliminate what you know you don't want. This is a way to clarify what you do want.  What happens to many of us, however, is that we continue to focus on what we don't want.  I believe that we (society) learned to do this habit for generations, and, as you my already realize, when a pattern is instilled for many generations, in order to change it, it takes constant and diligent reflection or conscious awareness.

Take a look at what you are focusing on.  Is it what you want or is it what you don't want?  If you are focusing your emotional energy on what you don't want, most likely that will come in to play in your life.  As well, focusing on what you don't want clouds the ability to see what you do want.

Remember how emotions work; psychology research tells us so.  When we attach strong emotion to a thought, those memorie…