Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Frozen In Time

Frozen In Time

I love this statement by Earl Nightingale.  How many times have you been frozen in time waiting for the 'right' moment, the right answer, the right opportunity, or the right path to take?  How many times have you been frozen in time because you 'needed' to know before you could move forward?  How many times have you said to yourself that it's not worth doing unless I know what I want - unless I know my purpose.

Life just doesn't present itself in an epiphany.  For the majority of us, it doesn't work that way.  The only way to know what to do is to do first.  Meaning, get out and be with others.  Be a part of life and your path will present itself to you.  Thinking about it too much will only cause more stagnant energy and confusion.

No matter what, time will keep moving with or without you so why not be a part of life and see what you discover about yourself.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Every New Day Is Another Chance

Every New Day Is Another Chance
Wake Up to Live
with Desiree Leigh

Every new day is another chance to change your life.  If you are not happy, try something different.  The old adage is: if it isn't working, do something different!

  • Go within yourself to hear what it is your Self is asking for.  
  • Go to the library and do some research.  
  • Volunteer for various organizations to see what makes you tick.  
  • Do phone interviews with people that are in the positions you may want to be in.  
  • Go for a walk somewhere you've never been.  
  • Try a new sport.  

All these scenarios will make the mind and heart move and direct you to what it is you are desiring; what it is you may be passionate about.  For today you will enjoy different fruits than what you will enjoy tomorrow.  Do the work.  Become aware.  Change up the pace.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Respect Yourself Enough to Walk Away

Respect Yourself Enough to Walk Away

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Respecting yourself enough to walk away is not always easy especially if you have lived through a lot of trauma in your life.  If you have lived through a lot of trauma, your self-worth may be extremely low.  But, don't give up or give in. Mental and emotional wellness begins with you.  It is possible to move past an abusive relationship or the memories of an abusive childhood and uncover true happiness.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Never Let the Odds Keep You from Your Heart

Never Let the Odds Keep You from Your Heart

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

There are many of us that did not learn how to connect with our heart as a child, especially the ones that have been abused repeatedly, molested,  raped, or neglected.  Many of us closed our hearts.

As we grew older, we realized something was missing in our lives.  Somehow we weren't connected to others and life in general.  We didn't know how to feel.  We didn't know how to express.  We lived a life of deadness and blank.  We were outsiders looking in upon other people's lives.

As we grew older, we desired to know what it would be like to live . . . to feel . . . to experience . . . and to know.  We desired to be alive.  We had seen it around us, the smiles, the laughter, the love, and the friendship; but we didn't know how to get there.

Nevertheless, as we grow, as long as we desire and believe, life will find us a way to know the heart.  Though, you must desire as much as you want to be alive - as much as you want to breath - and know it is possible.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Dance With Your Thoughts; Go Deep Into Your Soul

Dance with Your Thoughts;
Go Deep Into Your Soul

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Your thoughts always dance with you; but it is up to you what you do (or not do) with them.

When you are upset or stressed, do not try to control the mind.  The more you try to control the mind, the more the mind becomes devious in its ways and tries to control you.  For instance, the more you resist the thoughts that the mind wants to produce, the more you become attached to those thoughts.

Controlling the mind also takes a lot of energy and creates a lot of stress.  For example, when I tell myself I am beautiful, my mind does not believe it.  I can repeat this over and over daily with no results because my heart does not feel it.  I may even become angry and resentful and lose trust in my words.  As you can see, you use up a lot of energy.  That energy, in essence, can be used somewhere else, like creating something you are passionate about.  As you can see, I am not a fan of fake it until you make it.

Instead, move into a space of nothingness.  Go inward to know the dimensionless.  Be with your body.  Leave the mind and go inward to feel your heart.  When you become the observer, you will begin to "see" what it is you desire.  You will begin to "feel" who you are.  You will begin to "create" a life that your greater self seeks, not what others think you should have.  Your thoughts of overwhelm will melt away.  And, when your thoughts of overwhelm melt away, you can see and feel and create more clearly!

Our Western society thinks we should all be millionaires; we should all have big houses; we should all be famous; we should all be recognized; we should all have glory; we should all have iPhones.  Feeling the heart allows us to focus on our community, our nation, and the world.  There is a greater picture.  There is a greater respect for the human race and the planet we live on.  Give yourself a few minutes of this action of inaction several times throughout your day, and you will dissolve the mind from controlling you.

In the end, let your thoughts dance with you.  View them as passing scenery while sitting on a moving train and go "deep" into your heart and soul.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

When Opportunity Knocks

Minus the word b*tch,

When Opportunity Knocks . . .
what do you do?
Are you open enough to recognize it?

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Stupid Things People Say Not to Report Child Abuse

Stupid things people say not to report child abuse:
sexual, physical, and psychological.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

  1. My grandfather (or whomever) may have to go to jail.
  2. He/she is too old/young to be prosecuted.  You will ruin his/her life.
  3. Can you imagine what could happen to him/her if he/she had to go to jail?
  4. Just let it go. Quit living in the past.
  5. They aren't my kids, so it's not my responsibility.
  6. Keep me out of it!
  7. Well, she/he must have done something to get that treatment.
  8. It was so long ago; just forget about it.
  9. Don't tell me the gory details.  Leave me out of it.
  10. Every child has to go through tough times.
  11. A little slap or two won't hurt.
  12. Reporting this will destroy our family (as if it hasn't already).
  13. Nobody needs to know.
  14. But he/she didn't do it to me; therefore, he/she couldn't have done it to you.
  15. Don't stress.  Don't hurt mother and/or father.  It will devastate her and/or him if you talk about it.  Keep quiet.
  16. My all time favorite (sarcastically speaking): It was nothing!
Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Friday, January 11, 2013

I Am Somebody

I Am Somebody!  
Yes, I am.
What are you going to stand for?
What are you passionate about?

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Culture of Reverence Over Children's Safety

Culture of Reverence Led to ‘Total Disregard’ for Children’s Safety

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

          With reference to the criminal findings of a 267-page report, Brad Wolverton writes about how the most powerful leaders at Pennsylvania State University continually covered up the child sexual abuse cases related to Mr. Jerry Sandusky – Penn State’s football coach – over a span of fourteen years.  He stated that Pennsylvania State University’s leaders showed a “total disregard” for the safety and “welfare of children” (p. 7).
In respect to sociology, how could a community so large, with various top influential leaders, deny the safety of even one child, let alone 52 counts of sexual abuse that Jerry Sandusky was convicted for?  In reading the article, it showed that various officials placed blame on other various individuals, repeatedly tossing the hot potato denying the allegations; of course until there was blatant evidence, and they could no longer deny the truth.  Does this hideous crime have to do with the various statuses and classes of society – the vulnerable, small child who works hard, usually for little money, to be noticed and the powerful and influential leaders ridden with importance, honor, and affluence?  The correctly taught child’s role is to listen to his elders and do what they ask or live in fear of being kicked off of the football team and perhaps even disappointing his parents.  So, instead, the child submits and continues to obey without voice.  This is an ideology that represents a system of domination, authority, and power that has been abused to the furthest extent.  The corporate university’s role is to educate.  However, in this particular case the corporate goal of the university was to maintain structure, keep-face with the public, and continue to promote athleticism of their team disregarding the child’s safety and welfare. 
Ultimately, the game of football was more important than the children’s safety and well-being.  In the end, Pennsylvania State’s top officials shared a pattern of beliefs, norms, and values such as selfishness, domination, and the lack of a child’s worth.  Still, in today’s society this culture is strongly noted.  This traditional authority continues to repeat itself, not only in corporations such as Penn State, but in the smaller structured systems called family.      

Penn State’s Culture of Reverence Led to ‘Total Disregard’ for Children’s Safety. (2012, July
12). The Chronicles of Higher Education. Retrieved November 05, 2012, from

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Love and Justice

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Love and Justice

"Justice denied anywhere diminished justice everywhere"
Martin Luther King

I am fed up of listening to the condescending comments to 'be happy today and forget yesterday.'  Or  to broadly say that 'there is light at the end of the tunnel.'   Or that 'we all have a past, so just deal with it.' These patronizing comments to a survivor of childhood abuse, rape, incest, and molestation are useless.  These individuals that so broadly comment like this don't have a stand for anything or are too fearful to stand for anything.  If we don't see what we are doing wrong to these abused children by looking at their experiences from the past and who did what, how can we expect to improve the future?  

Our children have one childhood.  Allow them the right to feel joy and to receive respect, emotional care, and patience.  It is their 'human right' to get it.  It is not their destiny, their fate, their thought-process, their behavior, or God's will for them to be treated like dirt.  It is our, OUR, responsibility and God's will, OUR responsibility as adults and believers in a new way - an enlightened way - to do something about injustice and to create a blanket of love for these children - all children!

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Ignorance to Child Abuse Doesn't Make It Go Away

Ignorance and Denial of Childhood Abuse Does Not Make It Go Away

By Desiree Leigh, Wake Up to Live

The residuals of childhood trauma last forever; and society as a whole is responsible in creating the behaviors from the residuals of childhood trauma.  Ultimately, society (you and me - we) is breeding these effects - the behaviors we try to control after they have become out-of-control.

Research has shown that psychological trauma from parental abuse and/or neglect (including emotional unavailability) has been linked to later abnormalities in brain development, especially in the right hemisphere (DeHart, Sroufe, & Cooper, 2004, p. 286).  Even when society ignores the evidence and signs of childhood abuse, the consequences remain and affect society as a whole.  Adults continue to show plasticity of the brain to reshape thought processes; although it weakens considerably with age; but growth and change, forming new thought processes and behaviors, and learning to live with the memories is constant work in progress.

We talk about gun control, we talk about incarceration, and we talk about death penalties and so forth.  Why not talk about the living parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and neighbors who ignore the abuse like it is not their responsibility.  Wake up!  It's everyone's responsibility.  Just look at the chaos in the world today.  Crime and mental health issues do not "just happen" because an adult turned bad.  Shooting sprees at schools do not just happen because someone somehow just lost it.  Mental health issues begin in childhood and the quality of care the child has received: physical, emotional, and mental.  

Many people in the world are not listening; social policy is not listening; and because of their deafness, indiscriminate and dramatic behaviors brewing since childhood are arising.  We are now trying to control the out-of-control behavior that began some time ago but chose to ignore it.  (Sounds very similar to our environ-mental issues, too).

You can deny this fact if you choose; but it doesn't make it go away.

The consequences society lives with today, is from our ignorance and denial to what we did (and what we did not attend to) in the past.  We don't confront our ignorance to heal it and wholeheartedly admit that maybe we have been wrong.  We just ignore it, place icing on the cake or some perfume on a cow-pattie, and forget about it; but the residual stench remains!  And, it's showing up in the world today.  In the end, we blame the abused ones, and we keep living in darkness without solving the true issue.

We look upon these victims with shame - the just-world hypotheses leading to blaming the victim - as though they are the guilty so that somehow we can feel comforted and go on with our pretty little lives independent from others.  They have already been shamed.  Who gives you the right to abuse them once again?

"WE" are all responsible for the health of this world: mental and environ-mental.

Some of the effects of harsh punishment, abuse, and neglect:

  • Uncontrollable anger
  • Aggression
  • Depression 
  • Emotional reactivity
  • Emotional disturbances
  • Inability to experience pleasure
  • Difficulty recognizing the emotional expressions of others
  • Avoidance of people or situations
  • Apathy in the face of challenges
  • Difficulty balancing the desire to explore with the need to feel secure 
  • Anti-social Behavior
  • Diminished quality of parent-child relations
  • Diminished quality of joy/happiness
  • Poorer child and adult mental health
  • Increased delinquency and/or criminal behavior
  • Higher risk of being a victim of abuse
  • Higher risk of abusing one's child
  • Parenting problems

Society is breeding these behaviors!

Ignorance and denial of childhood abuse does not make it go away.

Just-World Hypothesis: the notion that many people need to believe that the world is fair and that justice is served; that bad people are punished and good people rewarded.  Blaming the victim is a dispositional attribution that comes from the just-world hypothesis.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh