Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dare to Raise Your Voice

Dare to Raise Your Voice
by Desiree Leigh, Wake Up to Live

Women and children that have experienced sexual crimes live in silence, trapped within a closet of denial, secrecy, and shame.  To speak about their experiences of rape, domestic battery, and incest is to invite public humiliation, ridicule, and disbelief both from family members and society in general.  Slowly people are acknowledging these horrific events as heinous and criminal.  However, we are a far cry from supporting the many women and children inflicted by sexual abuse.  There are still many in hiding living in fear, terror, and hopelessness.

It's time to raise awareness to these criminal acts that are occurring under our noses.  I strongly agree that family members, relatives, and friends whom do not report these odious crimes, and choose to turn away, should be held accountable as well.  All accomplices of other crimes are held accountable.  Why are the sexual crimes any different?

I have to say that I was naive enough to think that family would stick by my side in such criminal acts.  That they would be the ones to support me when I finally dared to raise my voice.  However, I was wrong and rudely awaken by this fantasy.  I'm sure there are many individuals that would go to the authorities in support of the victim.  Nonetheless, there are many that refuse to.

In the end, once again it is not about the others, though.  It is about you, the abused, and your own healing process.  Do you dare to raise your voice and speak up?  Do you dare to talk the truth in order to sort through the abuse?  When the traumatic memories and the intense feelings that accompany them are put into words, a lot of the wild and crazy emotions and behaviors slip away.  I feel raising your voice is still worth it in the end.  Although you may endure a ton of judgment, raising your voice is still worthwhile.  You acquire a great sense of freedom - a new sense of being.

A side note: Safety comes first!  Make sure you are in a safe environment depending on your situation.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Healing Worthlessness

Healing Worthlessness
by Desiree Leigh, Wake Up to Live

When you feel worthless, looking in the mirror and reminding yourself that you are beautiful is not going to happen.  Being told that you are special, you have the light within you, and to appreciate your value in life is something that individuals with low self-worth cannot relate to.  Further, the more you say, the more they will resist; and, the more they will see you as untrustworthy and a phony.  Trying to mend the surface or the symptoms of worthlessness will not be lasting nor effective in people that have extreme low self-esteem.  Cognitive change is only partial change in attitude.  Setting up a plan on how to tackle your attitude of worthlessness on a daily basis is good; however, it doesn't support deep change, and it doesn't last.

During my darkest days, sometime ago in the past, I became the observer.  One day standing in the middle of my kitchen, I moved out of my body looking down over top of myself.  It was after I threw a pyrex dish in rage causing a huge hole in the drywall.  I also realized, at that time, I almost killed someone;  just a few inches away from his head, the dish flew.  As an observer, I viewed the life I was living.  Why was I behaving in such self-defeating ways?  I knew I didn't want to be alive in this world if I continued to live the way I was.  I also knew that it wasn't about 'them' anymore - them being the men in my life.  It was about me and why I was attracting them.  Memories of sexual, physical and verbal abuse, and a two sexual assaults (at the age of 12 and 16) haunted me.  Domestic violence and later drugs and alcohol were a part of my behavior.  Shame, guilt, disgust, and hate was who I was.

Cognitive-behavioral change was the road I took to heal my life.  I didn't have to go to the past, and, I surely didn't want to at the time.  It worked to a degree.  However, after about two years or so of persistent effort, I still felt this haze of darkness: this ache in my gut that wouldn't go away.  I prayed and prayed with many tears asking what I needed to do next to feel joy and self-worth.  I was asking for the real stuff, not what I was putting on to wear everyday.  Not the mask or superficial joy I was being taught.  I pleaded daily to be shown the way; how to deeply heal the empty pit in my gut.  How to heal the haunting memories of the past. 

Over time, I was shown.  I was open completely to what ever entered my life.  I did the work because I believed that my asking was unfolding in front of me, and either I could use it or leave it.  Leaving it would have meant that I was going against my asking - not taking the opportunities that I requested.  I chose to use all of what came forth.  Every sign post.  Not knowing how it was going to work out in the end, I still continued with dedication and love to the one honoring my asking.

To heal the worthlessness inside of you, it takes more than cognitive-behavioral change.   It takes going to the source.  For real joy to surface from deep within, for love of self to resonate, separation must be corrected where it was made.

"It is not necessary to seek for what is true,
but it is necessary to seek for what is false...
That is why atonement centers on the past,
which is the source of separation,
and where it must be undone.
For separation must be corrected
where it was made."

[A Course In Miracles]

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Happiness is Created from an Empty Space

Happiness is Created from an Empty Space of Nothingness
by Desiree Leigh, Wake Up to Live

When you clear up your own messes and realize acceptance, you begin to see what it is that your heart truly longs for. Only then the universe, literally and spontaneously, unfolds accordingly... and in such miraculous ways to your true heart's desire.

Imagine a huge space inside of you. A place that you can begin anew. A blank slate where you can create something spectacular. Whether it be a bright and colorful rainbow, a warm sunshine, the mysterious moon, or a cool stream, it's your crayon to color your canvas as you choose. How ever that may look, it's really up to you. What's unique about this space is that it's yours to create as you choose.

This space is naturally within each and everyone of us. However, over a course of a lifetime of experiences, we start to collect things. We start to hold onto things that fill up this space of creation. As time passes, we get heavier and darker until the canvas is coated with an indescribable mish-mash of the past.  In essence, our happiness goes dark. This baggage of past can be referred to as a huge array of hurts and fears: pain, resentment, neglect, illness, anger, annoyance, embarrassment, abuse, and ridicule. The list is endless and so are the words describing the hurt and fear.

You can put another coat of color on the canvas to hide the darkness. Positive thinking, religion, obsessive habits, avoidance, and denial, are all good for a while. They are great distractions! I call this sort of a healing process superficial. It appears that you're healed, but you're really not. On the surface, it looks good. However, underneath you still feel that heaviness and that ache.

Holistic healing is not about masking the symptoms. To heal yourself wholly and to have lasting change, you need to resolve the underlying issues. It is important to treat the cause, rather than just the symptoms. Clearing up your messes not only dissipates the ache, it opens up an empty space for you to create what your heart truly longs for. This is where pure happiness lives.  Happiness that lasts is created from an empty space of nothingness; it is also where you uncover your true heart's desire.

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Realizing Acceptance

Realizing Acceptance
Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh

“When you clear up your own messes and realize acceptance, 
you begin to see what it is that your heart truly longs for. 
Only then the universe, literally and spontaneously, 
unfolds accordingly . . . and in such miraculous ways.” 
~Desiree Leigh~

Wake Up to Live with Desiree Leigh