Wake Up to Live!

Life is scary in uncertain times. People can begin feeling disoriented or dazed. They may have feelings of identity loss. Painful emotions may rise like anger and fear, but also feelings of tension, hostility towards individuals or groups, and fragmentation of self may persist. People may also engage in heightened political behavior or conspiracy theories out of fear. People may feel exhausted or overwhelmed. Anxiety my arise from current situations or from past unresolved issues. Touch Heals
At the same time, some people may become more creative, have heightened energy, or enhance their personal development. Everyone functions differently. However, one thing is certain, because we are having to physically distance ourselves from others, health experts recognize that this is not a natural way of being. When we distance ourselves from others that we love, we begin to lose our connectedness. We may even feel symptoms like stomach aches, fatigue, headaches, or apathy and depression. We …

The Oxford dictionary describes faith as "complete trust or confidence in someone or something; a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion; or based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof."

In my last blog post I declared that hope comes before faith and no matter how I look at it, if you do not have hope you cannot have faith.
Why? Because faith is a conviction or complete trust or confidence in something. Hope is a feeling or a desire for a certain thing to happen. Lost Faith
Let me explain. Some people profess that we've always had faith - that we've always had belief in something or someone, otherwise we couldn't function. And some may not even be able to get out of bed in the morning or step outside.
But that's the point. When individuals are suicidal or fear struck or have lost complete trust and faith in others including their spiritual conviction (due to a dysfunctional past, for example), they live in a state of survival with a se…

If you are struggling as badly as I once was with depression, anxiety, stress, eating disorders or suicidal thoughts, don't feel discouraged on the healing journey. You are on the right track. Keep hope in your heart and faith will enter.
You need to have hope before you have faith. Without hope, there is no faith.
I've heard several influential people on various social media platforms say that you should give up the word hope and instead use the term faith, and that placing too much confidence in hope can't sustain you. No matter how I look at their opinion, without hope, you cannot sustain yourself! Perhaps these people didn't consider the definition of hope, so I'm going to explain and show you that they both have very different meanings. And I want you to always maintain hope when you are struggling.
The Oxford dictionary states that the meaning of hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a feeling of trust; wanting something …

You Could Change Someone's Life If You Do This
I've been attending weekly calls with Co-Active Training Institute and I'm really leaning into the brilliant conversations - connecting with others - about what is changing within ourselves during this time of the pandemic. 
Interestingly, one of the participants mentioned that she's noticed that because of the social distancing, people were not only distancing their bodily selves, but they were also avoiding eye contact and conversations. However, another participant chimed in and said the absolute opposite. Within her cul de sac, people were coming together. They were physically distancing themselves from one another, but they were also engaging in conversations more than ever. 
As coaches, we're curious to what the reasons may be in others' behaviors and, for sure, it may be dependent on the infrastructure, the location, and the socioeconomic status, for example. None of us really know the true reasons behind thi…

Your job isn't to JUDGE. Your job isn't to figure out if someone deserves something or decide who is right or wrong. Your job is to lift the fallen, restore the broken, and heal the hurting. - Joel Osteen
Such a beautiful quote to read on my Sunday morning worship. I've become very fond of Joel Osteen's positive messages. When I wake in the middle of the night (usually between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m. PST), I open up my iPhone and listen to his sermons on YouTube. With so much negative news and heavy energy in the air, I'm making it my practice to worship on a daily basis for at least  1 1/2 hours (or on an average). Whether you worship your God, your Source, or your inner Guidance system - in my mind, it doesn't matter how you choose to name It - what is most vital is that you simply do it; go into worship, prayer, or meditation to stay centered in God's grace.

In today's world, dealing with the COVID19 news, it's easy to get swallowed up by the fear and …

Warning: I use the f-bomb in this one more than you may like!

Struck with a migraine, I feel pissed that I am held back yet again. Migraines are not headaches. They are much more than headaches. Although they both cause pain, migraines cause sensitivity to light, sounds, and smells, but everyone's experience is different. I get this weird prickly pins-and-needles feeling around my neck, face, and head. It feels like my shoulders are up to my ears and my neck can't move because it's stiff. The pain has a combination of sharpness, tingling, and throbbing, and it's fucking insistent.

I get angry because I know I was pushed down a flight of concrete stairs landing on a hard immovable concrete floor losing consciousness when I was about 4 years old. I was slammed on concrete yet again when I was about 37 years old. I was in several car accidents. Back then, the public was able to drink and drive. I recall a time when dad hit a car after having an evening of cocktails at my…

The Reasons I Started "Wake Up to Live!" Blog
One thing is for certain about life, there is a beginning and there is an end, and it's important to get on with life and make the best out of it no matter what's happened to you. I say this with much empathy and understanding.

I started the blog "Wake Up to Live!" in 2008 because I wanted others to wake up to live a life fully and passionately.  I didn't want life to pass them by. I was once a sleeper, and I lived life from a knee-jerk reaction not conscious to the reasons of my emotions and behaviors, as well as my choices. I made some sh** arse decisions. I struggled for years living with the repercussion of chronic childhood abuse, incest, sexual assaults, and then later domestic violence. I was plagued with memories but it was also the behaviors that I accumulated from childhood trauma that kept me stuck in a life spiraling downhill. I kept harming myself with eating disorders, rage, depression, and drugs…

#PrayforNice In the wake of what happened in Nice, France, as well as every other terrorist attack that has happened in the country, I cannot proclaim how to respond or react to the individuals, let alone the country, who are grieving such a great loss, but because I don't know how to respond to such mass sorrow doesn't mean that I shouldn't say anything. Life cannot move on as business as usual when something as horrific as this has happens.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what this feels like. Living in the Canadian West thus far we are fairly isolated from these attacks so I cannot profess to say how devastating it would feel. I could only imagine, and I can empathize with you.

There is a somber feeling in the air and in my heart. It's a feeling that doesn't seem to shake as quickly anymore with so many attacks. It's becoming even more difficult to understand the world. Why people commit such atrocities in such great numbers. Innocent lives…

Live Life Before Death
It's easy to let each day pass by as though you have all the time in the world to live and to do the things you want, but, sometimes, that day leads to weeks and then months and maybe even years.  Life is always busy.  Our work and personal commitments and expectations are even greater today than they were in the 80's.  Stop for a minute or two and take a deep breath.  Where are you right now?  Can you get present?  Be here and now, just for a minute.  Now listen...don't act as though you have a thousand years to live. Mark in your calendar with a big fat felt pen what your hearts desire is, what your heart bleeds for. 
Let's Connect!
Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.

This morning I received the BBC update that Bill Cosby will stand trial on charges of sexual assault. He is accused of drugging and molesting Andrea Constand, although more than forty other women came forward with similar accusations.

I don't know any of these women's stories, but I am glad to see that justice is being served with a trial for rape.  What I do want to know about is...why does it take so long for a rape victim to come forward? 

Barbara Bowman, for example, one of the accusing rape (sexual assault) victims stated in The Washington Post (November 13, 2014) that she received a dismissive response from others so she was convinced that no one would listen to her.  In the Independent news article on November 20, 2014 written by Tim Walker, it stated that some of Cosby's accusers remained silent because they felt intimidated, ashamed, and scared.  One in particular, named Dickinson, stated that she was afraid of being labelled a slut or a whore sleeping her way to…

Your Untamed Spirit?

Do you remember your untamed spirit?  The one you were born with. If we only looked at life as a blank artists palette (or a playground) ready to be created by our heart and imagination, perhaps we would not tug, pull, or hang on to the things that are not really ours.
Life's traumas, like sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, or growing up watching domestic violence, will try to restrain us, but we must heal and know how to manage what has happened. We must learn to uncover true happiness.  When we are able to do this, life opens us up like the lotus flower emerging from a murky pond becoming that exquisite beauty.  This awakening or awareness or enlightenment, whatever you would like to call it, is like a rebirth; it truly is if you have done the work. 
You are then free to roam without a cage.  Free to dance with life. Free to live with abandon. Free to love as you've never loved before, and I am not specifically talking about lovers. And, free to be…

A journey of 1000 miles is a statement for any goal.  This could be for speaking up about injustices like childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. It could be about healing from past abuses; taking that step to call a counsellor or therapist.  It could be about saying, No, you can't do this to me anymore! It could be about self-care.  What ever your first step is, it is a first of many to come.  Be courageous and brave as you already are. Don't give in, and don't give up. 
Let's Connect!
Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.

Letting Go
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it's guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.
Many frivolously and light-heatedly use the words "letting go."  They may say that in order to move forward, you must let go; to have freedom, you must let go; to stop living in the past, you must let go; and to stop destroying your self, you must let go.  But, what exactly does letting go mean, and is this concept as 'simple' as many say as the words roll off their tongues?
A couple of decade ago, I started trying to figure this out--the concept of letting go. I spent thousands of dollars in self-improvement workshops, seminars, lectures, online educational classes, and books trying to understand what others meant when they said, "Just let go."  And, because there was no clear explanation, I kept asking, "How?"  How do you "just" let go when memories and feeli…

If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all. [Michelangelo]
I finished reading a book called "Drive" by Daniel H. Pink.  I gave it a three to a three and a half star out of five because it could have been more concise.  I found myself scanning quickly over many areas. I guess it felt a bit redundant in certain areas.  I did find Pink's chapter on "Mastery," however, to be enlightening and something that many people should consider if they want to be a master at what they love. 
He mentions in the book that mastery has three laws.  1. Mastery is a Mindset. 2. Mastery is a Pain. 3. Mastery is an Asymptote.  Let me explain numbers 1 and 3 briefly first.
Number 1: Mastery is a Mindset which means that the pursuit of mastery is all in our heads.  Some people, for instance, believe that to be a master at something, such as a painter or sculptor, you need intelligence, and intelligence has a restricted supply that we canno…

Wake Up and Get Political For A Cause You Are Passionate About
Why is the general population so afraid to get involved politically?  Are you afraid of backlash?  Are you afraid that maybe someone won't agree with you, and their comments are going to rock your boat?  Are you afraid of this so called "negativity" people talk about?  Or are you one of those believers that thinks that if I only stay in the Zen moment and think happy thoughts, then life will somehow miraculously change for the better?

We latch on to religion or spirituality when we are overwhelmed; when we can't seem to tolerate the world anymore.  Perhaps, someone close to you died--a spouse, a child, a mother, or a very good friend.  War is another factor to why people latch onto religion or look for a divine power.  People want to know and want to believe that there is something out there that is greater than the mess here on earth, and, honestly, rightfully so.  I went through this myself.

But spiritu…

"If I know that something evil is happening I do not do anything to favor it, but I do not do anything to stop it; I look away from it.  Thus, I am passively guilty of supporting the man who perpetuates that evil."
--Gerard Prunier, author of The Rwanda Crisis





Evil by an individual, a group, a state, or a nation(s); it comes in all sizes and by people that you would not suspect.



Let's connect to heal and create a live worth living!
Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to build inner strength, confidence, and better relationships.

Is your mind full of life's stuff as the human on the left of the picture, or are you being mindful of what enters your mind as the dogs illustration is on the right?

Don't be hard on yourself when you are on the left side of this picture.  Life is most often a juggling or balancing act: we go from having a full mind to being mindful.  I guess the most important task is to be mindful that your mind is full and then you can take action and do something about it.  In the end, you need to continually check in, reflect on your thoughts, to see where you are at.

To help promote mindfulness, you also need to nourish yourself regularly.

Let's Connect!
Go to DesireeLeigh.com to pick up your FREE eBook of the 7 easy to apply Life-Changing Steps to increase confidence, build better relationships, and achieve your dreams.

Do you recognize the signs of emotional abuse?  You may experience these signs if you are living with someone that physically and verbally abuses you?  You may also experience these signs with others you don't live with, such as brothers or sisters and friends or neighbors.  I wasn't able to recognize the signs immediately.  I was too caught up managing life with my children not considering either my own issues or needs.  I was trying to keep things afloat so that life looked grand from the outside--from the perspective of others--and life did look just fine from the outside; so it was very easy to convince myself that everything was okay.  What's really crazy, though, is that even if outsiders suspected something, they didn't say a word or do anything; everyone lived in this bubble of silence.  This bubble of silence is the craziest thing in the world when you reflect on it, but it happens with child abuse, too!  No one wants to get involved.

These are just five sign…

In life, we live among a varied population, so we must be able to recognize when we are in danger.  When you have grown up observing domestic violence, have been the subject of childhood abuse or bullying from your siblings, or have been assaulted in any way, we can either be hypervigilant or on-guard to everyone that is around us or we may be unconscious in recognizing the signs of these characteristics.  I know I have been both, but my underlying characteristic is to be hypervigilant and acutely aware of absolutely everything--every facial expression and every pin dropping.  What's important, though, is to recognize the signs by logically analyzing the situation and also staying connected to your gut feelings.

Remember, many abusers, controllers, and manipulators will make the problem yours and tell everyone in their circle of family and friends (and acquaintances) that 'you' are the problem when in fact you are not.  I can compare this behavior to children in a playgr…

Feeling betrayed by the people that we love and trust who did not respond to our cries of abuse is a feeling that may never really go away.  It is something that we need to work on on a regular basis to keep the memories and feelings in check.

Many people talk about forgiveness (even I did sometime in the past), stating how important it is to do in order to move on.  Through some real deep self-examination, I realized I was only following a socially conditioned belief.  What is forgiveness, anyways?  Basically, it is an abstract concept.  We made it up.  And, because it is a concept to understand a generalized idea, we can attach anything to it to fit our needs if we choose.

Many people are socially conditioned to believe that we "must" forgive.  Forgiveness has been a huge hype socialized into us for centuries; a way for society to conform, but also a way for society to behave themselves rather than cause a ruckus.  It is a way to silence society.  Even celebrities and gur…