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Searching for Something

Searching for Something
An old man was walking home late one night when he saw a friend on his knees under a street light, searching for something. "What are you doing?" he asked his friend. "I dropped the key to my house." "I'll help you look." After a few minutes of frustrated searching, the old man asked, "Where exactly were you when you dropped this key?" His friend pointed toward the darkness, "Over there." "Then why are you looking for it here?" "Because this is where the light is."[Sufi parable].
Healing
Seek where you lost it or where it has been distorted. Healing occurs when you raise the unconscious and face it. Healing does not occur by looking outside of yourself to find something. It's all within you.
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Two Wolves

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is angry, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."

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Creating Good Relationships

"If you don't have a good relationship with you, your small self and You, your greater self, then you can't have a good relationship with others".
You, your personality self, and, You, your higher Self must blend well. Meaning, you must have a good relationship with you and 'You'. In essence, they are not separate from each other. Many people believe that the inner voice is something far beyond them. In many ways that is true, but It (that inner voice) is still You.

How can we ever establish a good relationship with others if we haven't established a good relationship with our selves? Many of us are not whole and complete in our selves. We look for fillers, sort of speak. Someone to satisfy what we 'think' we are missing to make our selves feel better. Also, if we are critical and judge ourselves regularly, we will be doing the same things to others. There are no exceptions. That is where the problems occur. First, we must be complete, or whole,…

Christmas

Rejoice in the spirit of Christmas which is Peace,
the miracle of Christmas which is Hope,
and the heart of Christmas which is Love.

Merry Christmas with Warm Wishes
for a Wonderful Holiday Season
and a Happy New Year.

Hiding Behind Spirituality

Are you hiding behind your spirituality pretending that you have completed or dealt with your past? Do you just keep pushing your pain and sorrow deeper into your heels, only for it to fester and create more disease a little longer?

Some people on the spiritual journey are doing this. I can attest to it because I have done it myself. Our past is difficult to face, but if we don't face our in-completions that linger in today's now, which dictates our behavior, the mind chatter continues. The mind chatter consists of the words we use to control our behavior, creating lack of confidence, fear, illnesses, lack of self-worth, and much more.

To really own your power, you must let go of your pain and sorrow. These past hurts (e.g. guilt and shame) are what's controlling your behavior today, more than likely unconsciously.  You are not aware of it. It's the unconscious patterns you keep re-creating, but you don't realize this. You must first see what is causing that…

Courage to Face Things

It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are without any self-deception or illusion that light will develop out of events by which the path to succeed may be recognized.
~I Ching

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Life at Full Throttle

"If you're going to go to hell... I suggest you come back learning something."

~Drew Barrymore

(Excerpted from the Ali Magazine)

(Model in picture is Aimee Mullins)

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Shine As Children Do

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Marianne Williamson

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Happy Thanksgiving to the World

Whether we gather together or stay in solitude,
give thanks for the experience of being a sentient being.
For all the trials and tribulations we encounter,
everyone else is going through the same.

Both you and I are unfolding a great story,
when we listen and dance with the mysteries of the Divine.
There is something magical when we open our hearts,
we begin to bless the world with a gift unique to us.

Give thanks for your connection with your Divine Self,
that may need some work to be revealed.
But when your inner wisdom explodes like a fireball of light,
Be ready to offer it to others to heal with insight.

Don't let fear or timidity push you around,
keep reminding yourself about your service to the world.
Play your part fully for the great Divine,
remembering your brilliance as a human being.

By Desiree Leigh

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A Powerful Teaching Tool

Healing your past from a place of wisdom will change your story. How could the story not change when you are bringing light into it. It's inevitable. The more you use your inner wisdom, the more the story will continue to change. Until one day you can use your story as a powerful teaching tool it is meant to be. And not until then, otherwise you will still come from a place of blame and resentment.

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Diverting Your Plans With Distraction

Are you diverting your plans, avoiding your calling, perhaps unconsciously, because you're afraid to show up? Are you afraid of stepping forward into your own life? Have you moved along, showing up with integrity and authenticity, only to find yourself on another path wondering why you're there? Are you avoiding greater growth because it feels scary, moving once again into your comfort zone?

For instance, it's like building a business only to realize you must now speak publicly to get your message to a greater amount of people, and now you feel your knees trembling, sick to your stomach, and decide this is just not for you anymore? Somehow you begin to sabotage your vision. Somehow you find yourself on another course of action but not in alignment with your passion. Is this you?

This happens to many of us. I can't imagine everyone on a smooth path to spreading their message. I, myself admit to these diversions. Sometimes they can be costly and sometimes they …

Direct Questions About Life to Wake Up

Hope for the Elusive Actress  Direct Questions About Life
Have you lied and lied and lied to yourself so much that you don't know who you are or what your truth is? Have you been the most elusive actress to yourself and others that your truth is no where to be found or no where in sight? Have you been that pretender that okay, aha, yes ma'am, yes sir, so loving and pleasing person yet minimizing or demeaning your own beauty and talents?

If you have, how many more days or years are you going to lie to yourself? What is it going to take to change your life and 'give' others your message? What if you only had one year left to live? Really! What if? Can you imagine that? Truly imagine that? Do you want to continue to live in pain, hurt and grief your whole life? Do you want to create your own illnesses? Do you really want to escape forever?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I ask you another question. Why are you here? What do you feel your pur…

Water Your Dreams With the Right Stuff

"Be careful what you water your dreams with...
Water them with optimism and solutions
and you will cultivate success...
Always be on the look out for ways to nurture your dreams.

~Lao Tzu

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Demand Self-Care

Demanding too much of ourselves in time and effort will cause imbalances in our energies creating misalignment. But it also depends on what we are demanding from ourselves. In a world filled with information bombarding us from all angles, the responsibilities of so many things such as aging parents, a change in career, updating our skills, gaining more knowledge, and changing our limiting belief systems daily, we can begin to burn the candle at both ends, becoming physically tired and creating discord. It is much too challenging to have a cheerful outlook and remain positive, upbeat and uplifting towards others when we're exhausted.

I tend to do this a lot, sometimes catching myself in the nick of time and sometimes a little too late. It is really easy falling into old patterns of habit, and when most of the people around you are doing the same thing, I question whether or not I should be taking that day to completely pamper myself. Actually, forget about a full day, how abo…

Bombarded by Thousands of Decisions a Day

Bombarded by Decision Making
Why are small wins so important when you are making choices in persevering a goal to achieve your vision?

When you persevere a goal you are bombarded with a lot of decision making. Think about how many decisions you have to make in a week, a day or even an hour regarding an ill parent, a child's future, your business, your education, your marriage, or your career. Just thinking about making these choices can prove to cause overwhelm with information overload.

In many complex decision-making situations you would experience cognitive obstacles creating ambiguity which becomes overwhelming. With socio-emotional obstacles, you may experience stress, frustration, and personal friction (resistance) because of the many choices.

Both cognitive and socio-emotional obstacles occur and must be overcome while you are in the process of achieving closure from one decision to the next. If the choices are not made because of these sometimes hindering obstacles, you…

Life is Not a Journey to the Grave

"Life is not a journey to the grave,
With the intention of arriving safely
In a pretty and well-preserved body,
But rather to skid in broadside,
Thoroughly used up,
Totally worn out,
And loudly proclaiming -
"WOW, what a ride!!!"

~Unknown

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Love the Fool in Me

"I must learn to love the fool in me -- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbour, and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

~Theodore I. Rubin, MD

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Growing A New Life

Accept the messiness and the mistakes.
Let go of the perfection.
Embrace who you are today.
To change limiting and self-destructive habits,
it takes perseverance.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Are you ready for the work
to reap the rewards?
Are you ready to grow a new life?

"As you sow, So shall you reap."


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Grasp Hold

See the fire in the sky,
As it drowns behind the cloud.
The world becomes dark,
And death leads the way.
You follow everything you've ever known,
Read the books and you're still a slave,
Stick your hand through the glass of life,
Grasp hold,
Make a sacrifice.

Don't let the world make you.
Let go and be free.
Don't follow the stages footsteps
Media, America, Hollywood.
Make your own life,
And love what you have.
Change is the world day by day,
Take a guess you're here to stay.

~Dustin Leigh Bryant


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Blame

Blame is a convenient excuse to why the world is not exactly the way we want it to be, and a way to divert the responsibility away from the one blaming.
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The Process of Decision Making Through Conflict

Do you realize that everything is a process? That everything has order to it? Just as life, success, and the gestation period of a child and a seed has a process, so does the art of decision making. Recently I purchased some wonderful dvd's on The Art of Decision Making. Since I'm an avid learner, I love to read and watch many lectures on the fundamentals of many disciplines, as well as business & economics.

I never really thought of decision making as a process,though, and neither did I think that conflict and debate were part of that process too. Most people like to avoid conflict, believing that it causes pain and resistance in others besides ourselves. And many times it does, depending how we handle the situation. But in order to make a better more informed decision, listening to both or many sides of the topic in debate is actually the best way of doing it. Chuck Knight, CEO of Emerson Electric and Jack Welch, CEO of General Electric had built their firm'…

Cognitive Biases in Decision Making

"To cite a specific cause would be to promote an omniscience that only gods, drunks, politicians, and dramatic writers can claim."
~Anatoll Boukreev

A quote that gives impact into understanding that the 'cause' of any one event is not but 'one' cause but a multitude of events creating either a breakdown or failure or, on the other end, success or a win!

Some causes to the effects or results of the May 1996 Mt. Everest deaths.
Systematic and cognitive biases impair the judgments and choices that individuals make. There are many other biases than the ones I mentioned above, though. My intention is for those who are reading this material to gain a self-awareness of the biases that direct our decision making in all areas of our lives.

The sunk-cost effect refers to people investing more commitment to a project, course of action, or a goal when they have invested a lot of time, money and resources into it. In some ways we can consider this gambling. For example…

The End In Mind

"We may be very busy, we may be very efficient,
but we will also be truly effective
only when we begin with the end in mind."

~Stephen Covey, Author and Speaker

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Obeying Puppy Dog

Do you notice that when you make a decision to do things differently, like taking action in following your intuition, there is this negative friction that starts trying to pull you back in to your old patterns of habit? Well it's happening to me right now. I have been waking up at 4:50 every morning, doing my visualizations, rampages of appreciation, meditation and then working out by about 5:30 am. I made a big commitment to myself. To be more self-disciplined with my inner wisdom. To follow through, so I can let go of some of the "what ifs." My day is full with more studies, now, and of course my business too, so this schedule is taking me away from the comforts of my home. And some people don't like it!

Most of the time I was able to do business and studies at home, so I was able to tend to things around the house, like the dogs and the usual maintenance. Now I can't. It's not that things are chaotic, they are just different. Others are noticing…

The Ripple Effect

Each choice we make causes
a ripple effect in our lives.
When things happen to us,
it is the reaction we choose
that can create the difference
between the sorrows of our past
and the joy in our future.

~Unknown

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The Unwillingness to Improve Yourself

"Many people are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves...they therefore remain bound."
~James Allen, From "As A Man Thinketh"

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Effective Leadership

Character development is essential in the effectiveness of great leadership: trust, the courage to face your own weaknesses, and the desire to better understand those around you.

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Writing Raw

"Becoming present with yourself produces the 'raw' material of your thoughts and feelings while simultaneously listening in on yourself empathetically, inquisitively, and imaginatively. When you are present to yourself in this way, your attention is never divided; you experience no conflict or anxiety since you are merely recording [writing] your thoughts as they occur to you moment by moment. Then new information has a chance to enter your thinking. Because your not blocking [or resisting] them out or defending against them, you can let go of old assumptions and ways of seeing that are holding you back. This process is key to your emotional health."

Excerpted from Writing the Mind Aive.

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Unconsciousness Controls Us

"A surprising number of us would just as soon avoid starting down the slippery slope that uncomfortable feelings can present if we give them full expression on paper. Better to ignore or suppress them, lest they start to make our lives more complicated than we can handle...

We often make the mistake of thinking there is safety in unconsciousness and danger in awareness. But the reverse is actually true. As writers, awareness of our thoughts gives us control over our material, where as unconsciousness controls us."

Excerpted from Writing the Mind Alive.

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How Commitment Works

What Are You Committed To?
Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would
otherwise never have occurred.
A whole stream of events issue from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner
of unforeseen accidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no man would have dreamt
would have come his way.

~Unknown

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Peace In the Midst of Pain

It has been a busy and eventful month preparing all the necessary things for my last son to experience his first year in University and another going back for his second. I am grateful that I am able to provide them with this opportunity. I had a wonderful trip, enjoying many sights of Toronto. Perhaps not as many as I wanted to, but in such a short time there is only so many things you can actually fit in to your schedule without feelings of overwhelm. And I was already on emotional and physical overwhelm, feeling a lack of peace.

I finally completed Marianne's book, The Age of Miracles at the Pearson airport while I was waiting for my flight. A place that appears to be in the midst of chaos. For some reason I scheduled the flight late in the afternoon so I had much time to waste. It's funny how the right book comes in to your hands just when you need it. The day before I went to Toronto, I knew deep in my heart that Marianne's book was the one to read on the tri…

Dreams

We have a dream inside ourselves,
A gift to us at birth,
To guide and protect us
On our journey on this earth.

We all have something special,
Each one of us unique
You have to find the courage
To find the peace you seek.

So dream your dream and live your dream
Don't be afraid to try.
Just take your soul by the hand
And let your spirit fly.

~Maureen Weiner, Australian poet

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Higher Standards

"Leadership is not magnetic personality--that can just as well be a glib tongue. It is not "making friends and influencing people"--that is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations." ~Peter F. Drucker
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Power Of Choice

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there.   What you choose to do with them is up to you." -Richard Bach

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IN FEAR? Take the Focus Off You

When we get involved in doing something new, many times we become unsure about our abilities and what we are doing; we doubt, criticize, judge, whatever it may be. We are unsure about whether or not we are performing well. "Are we doing it right?" "What are others going to think?" etc, etc. I know this happens to me, and not just with something new either. It could be something that I have done for a while. But, there are certain days that this fear overwhelms me.

What I found to be most effective is to take the focus off myself, and instead, focus my complete attention on who and what I am serving. Whether it is the words on the paper I am writing on, the kayak and oars I am trying to maneuver in the water, or the people I am speaking to on the podium. In a way, it is the same instructions for acting. Take the focus off yourself and place it on the other person or thing you are wanting to influence.

It is that simple. Do you want to get out of the fear m…

We Must First Set Our Heart Right

"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."
~Confucius



Gift or Servant?

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

~Albert Einstein

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Build Castles in the Air

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundation under them."

~Henry David Thoreau

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Simplify, Simplify

Life is actually quite simple. We complicate everything about our existence; our relationships, our responsibilities, our agenda, our time, our work, and our purpose.

Why are we afraid to make space for ourselves? What are we afraid we may find?

Instead, we run on adrenalin congested with the old endless to-do list, steadfastly adding more things day-after-day. Persistently, we believe we are getting to our destination, enjoying our journey (this must be a joke), breathlessly checking things off. We consciously (are we really?) think we are actually accomplishing what we want to be doing, so we can free up some time for our later 'real' wants. But is this realistically going to happen?

What are we really avoiding or denying? What don't we want to find out about? Do we have that much fear that we don't even want to know who we really are? What are our values, needs and desires? What are we tolerating or resisting? Don't we want to know? Or are we just pre…

Others Will Shift ONLY When They Want Too!!

Do you ever feel like your knocking your head up against a wall? As you grow and shift your way of seeing things, learning knew tools to improve your way of thinking, as well as improving your attitude, you automatically want others to come along with you. You want the one's closest to you to improve their way of being, so that life can give them what they desire. And besides, this shift in perspective is a sure way to become more joyful and more content.

Following the light gives us such a grand perspective. It broadens our view. We then want to share the beauty that we now see with everyone we love!

I know how much I have helped myself and how my new way of living has improved my way of being, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, but I am not perfect. I am far from that! But some people, no matter how close they are to your heart, have their own life to live. Fear has a great pull on them and they would rather wallow in their pity, thrown from circumstance …

Value

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value."
~Albert Einstein


Belief

"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief."
~Gerry Spence

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Dancing In the Kitchen

Well, it's been another busy week. I have been intently concentrating on reading, a ton of writing and my coaching calls. When I put a lot of time in during the week for what I want to accomplish, I make sure I take at least one day to let loose and have fun. And so I did yesterday. Saturday was a day for the errands I can't get done during the week. Even with these 'must do' errands, I made an intention to really enjoy my time shopping, unpacking the parcels and preparing dinner. Rather than rush through the preparation quickly moving to the so called down time afterwords, I made unpacking my parcels and preparing dinner my down time. Instead of being in the hurry, hurry, let's get to the next step mode, I was in a relaxed state doing the chores that could even be regarded as tedious.

After shopping with the crowds, when I got home, I unpacked the parcels of groceries and such, and turned the radio on. I took a big, deep breath and started the process. Ch…

Heroes

"Heroes take journey's, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves."

~Carol Lynn Pearson

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Love In Relationships

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

~Kahlil Gibran

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Use What You Need and Let Go of The Rest

Imagine yourself as a chef in an extremely well-stocked kitchen that contains every imaginable ingredient. And as you proceed, there are many ingredients that are not appropriate for your creation, so you do not utilize them, but you also feel no discomfort about their existence. You simply utilize the ingredients that will enhance your creation -- and you leave the ingredients that are not appropriate for your creation out of the pie.

Excerpted from Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks (The Teachings of Abraham).

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The Illusion of Tomorrow

The Illusion of Tomorrow
The greatest illusion is tomorrow. Commit with simplicity and determination. To find the truth is to find the peace. All war is an expression of what is going on within us. Take the journey back home where you will discover who you are, the way you were meant to be. Don't paint tomorrow. Don't paint yesterday. Paint today! 
All we have is today. We really don't know what can happen from now till then. So do what you need to do and say what you need to say. Have goal, pursue dreams, but stay present to where you're at so that you can "see it."
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Life Needs to Be Expressed Not Mimicked

How many things are you afraid of? We are so afraid of failure, that we are not even close to success. We are so afraid of death, that we are not even living. We have been conditioned to believe that when we don't do things the so called right way, we are considered a failure. Who's perception is this? What memory are we keeping alive? What belief is holding us back? This perception comes from others telling us that we are failures, and us believing it to be true. And when fear grips us, we are no longer sure about anything. We are confused and stagnant. We can no longer relate to peace.

How much is your daily agenda tied to this illusive fear force and how much is tied to the God force? Life comes with no fear. Everything else is an add on, like the things you have collected and gathered over time. This collection and gathering of things, whether it may be knowledge, education, social conditioning, etc, does not represent the true statement of existence. All of…

Let the Stallion (Emotion) Kick and Run

Let the Stallion Kick and Run - Honor Your Emotions
I have made a lot of bad choices in my life, and how I pay for them has been through regret and forgiveness. Maybe one day I can share with you some of the bad choices, but today it really doesn't matter what the situations have been. They are past and gone and there is no way to change those choices that I made yesterday. My healing process has done wonders but there is always some black residue hiding somewhere deep in the heart, that I stuffed so far down, I didn't ever recognize it anymore when it came up.

Some days like today, some thing strange happens. Out of the blue, when things seem sunny and well, I get overwhelmed with emotion and I have no clue where it comes from. It slams you in the gut, bubbles up to your throat and takes over your entire body. And here comes the trembling, the weak knees and tears. I want to fall to my knees and pray to God to take away the burden, the hurt and the pain off my shoulders …