What Are the Pitfalls During Transformation

What are all the pitfalls during transformation? What are the hidden or unsuspected difficulties during the journey of transformation?  

Have you received a "calling"? If you have, what have you done to make it come into fruition?

A lot of people don't understand what I am about to say. When a calling happens, there's resistance. We may be excitement to get started, and, perhaps, we may take some steps. But soon enough, many of us get overwhelmed, lost, inundated with ideas or none at all, or simply allow life to take over and nothing happens. 

Receiving a calling is a challenge. A calling is about stepping into the unknown which can be one of the scariest things for a human to do. 

Why is this so scary? Because the majority of us are living in survival. We would rather feel a sense of comfort and safety than walk into the unknown. The problem with this is that we're compromising our core values which will eventually erode our self-concepts.

For example, we don't want to give up that corporate job and the lifestyle it provides us so we stay. We stay in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage so we justify why it's best or important to be married. We stay working in the health care field (e.g., nurse, pharmacist) even though we know the truth about the medical mafia, health care system, MAiD, the pharmaceutical industry, and educational system, because we get a decent paycheck with great benefits and a substantial pension.

I was brought up in a middle class family that wholeheartedly believed that a good trade or government job was the way to go. They'd say, "make sure you've got good health and dental benefits, pension, and long term stability . . . a good union job". Getting that job was like winning the lotto. Even today, I see family members encouraging their children to strive for these types of jobs and to make sure they stick with them when they land one. 

In what ways are you sacrificing your soul by living a generational belief? Have you considered other options/beliefs than the one's that you were conditioned into being? Why are you opting out of genuine soul-level, deep level joy?

A bit of a side note. I truly believe that my dad didn't make it as an entrepreneur and business owner was because he had deeply ingrained beliefs, and he didn't have family that genuinely backed him up. They always said he was a "dreamer". But, as I saw it, my dad put in a lot of hard work. He was taking action. He built a Drive Inn Theater, corner grocery store, a restaurant and cabaret . . .  and they were all operational. Clearly, he made many mistakes - investing without profiting, generously giving away products without considering his bottom line, and many other things that I probably don't know about. But, the question I ask, did he have the support he needed around him, encouraging him to keep going, to keep moving forward one step at a time when things went sour? 

When the external voices around you speak louder than your inner faith, it's easy to falter. Those deeply ingrained beliefs that were conditioned into your nervous system since birth will always surpass if you're not on top of the negative voices - the voice of the ego that tries to protect you; the ego that tries to keep you in that safe, comfort zone. "Don't stir things up." We don't like it. "We" meaning the ego and the rest of close family and friends.   

When we live in survival and then settle in our circumstances, while we honestly think and believe we are doing the right thing, we compromise our core values leading to a range of negative consequences, including damage to our self-esteem and eroding our integrity, making it difficult to trust oneself and even others. When we compromise our core values, there is a continued sense of inner conflict and dissatisfaction lowering our standards and expectations for future behavior. It's like selling your soul to the devil, because you are compromising your truth out to fear.

It's very difficult for people to do this; heed their calling, but is it worthwhile? Yes. Yes, because it's your own personal journey and transformation. We did not come here to planet earth to be slaves. To work, pay exorbitant amount of taxes and bills, save for retirement, and then die. What is the true meaning behind our lives? That is the question each one of us has to answer for ourselves with our own soul. This is not a question up for debate with your parents, grandparents, siblings, or friends. Listening to other people's perspective is fine, but the decision is yours and so are the consequences, good or bad. Gaia is a learning environment for all.

Nevertheless, resistance is part of the journey, but how long will you resist? One year? Two years? 5 years? 10 years? 40 years? Or maybe you will resist your entire life and you won't even attempt your calling.

Why do we resist when we know our calling can give us such meaning, purpose, and joy? Because we are leaving the familiar (metaphorically speaking). We are leaving the familiar which can cause guilt. We are leaving people that sustained us, that culture, the tribe that comforted us and brought us up. The thing is, you're not rejecting the people around you, your culture, or your tribe. You're realizing and acknowledging that you (the you now) is not all of who you are. You can still be a part of your past, but you are much more than that. The past is part of your persona today, but you are now willing to step into a larger version of yourself. 

A spiritual mentor and life coach supports you and prepares you to get across the line, guiding you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally through the transformation. They guide you to say, "I commit to this calling or this journey of transformation wholeheartedly".  This is crossing the line or crossing the threshold; it's a symbolic and psychological transition into becoming a seeker committed to your path. However, this is not the end. This first commitment is just the beginning of your journey! 

Regular recommitment and action is also part of the journey. Many of us cross the threshold but never get to the second initiation, which is meeting with the shadows - the confrontations with the fears. There is a death of the old self and a stepping into your new identity when you showdown with your shadows. This is a must - working with the shadow. You cannot forgo shadow work. Period.  

At some point in your life you must have asked yourself, "what is this (life) all about?" Why are you actually here? What is most meaningful to you? Who am I? What existential questions have you asked yourself lately?

Many of us women have children, but sometimes parents (especially mothers) end up in a co-dependent relationship with their children, which is unhealthy, latching on to their children like they are the only thing(s) that give them meaning. If this is the case, then surely you haven't dug deep enough and done enough inner work for yourself to move past this. Most mothers say that their children give them immense meaning. Of course, it's true for me, too! But having children is not all of what we came here to do. 

What are your gifts? What are your talents? What do you enjoy doing? What do you love to share with others? How do you want to contribute to the world? What is your legacy?

So, who needs help during the journey of transformation? Well, let me ask you these questions? Can you see all of your blind spots? Can you honestly see new and different perspectives without judgment? Can you consistently hold your self accountable? Are you fulfilling your calling right now? And, can you be completely honest with yourself answering these questions?

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree