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Energy Loss After Chronic Trauma

What you can do about energy loss after chronic trauma? Childhood trauma encompasses a wide range of adverse experiences that occur during the formative years. The formative years are the time period between 0 to 8 years when the brain and neurobiological development are the fastest after birth. The formative years are a very influential and potent time; it is the time when a child defines who they are and who they will become in the future. The adverse experiences can range from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect, attachment issues, observing household dysfunction (such as domestic violence and narcissistic behaviours), or exposure to violence. Trauma in childhood is not merely the nature of the event but the profound and lasting impact it has on a child's developing brain, emotions, and sense of self . At the core, childhood trauma disrupts the fundamental sense of safety and security, which are required for healthy development. But the effects are far-reaching, im...

Giving Yourself Permission to Be You



Giving Yourself Permission to Be You

Many of us have a difficult time giving ourselves permission to be who we really are - to be ourselves.  We strive to be something we are not which is nothing close to who we really are.  But then, "do we really know who we are anyways?"  Because of the demands of the world and the loyalty, honor, or roles we need to attain and play with which may include our family, spouse, friends, children, boss, clergy, teachers, politicians, community, and organizations, we feel we 'should' be something that we really are not.  Sometimes we're not even aware of this 'should be.'

There's a sense of subtlety when it comes to knowing who we really are, and giving ourselves permission to be just that.  That feeling of who we really are can be elusive and hard to detect.  We have it, we get it, we understand it, but we really don't.  It lives somewhere beyond us, almost unreachable, this thing called me.  Who are we really giving permission to?  Is it for everyone else around me?  Or, is it really for me?  Who am I really? 

We don't really recognize that we aren't giving ourselves permission.  We think we are.  We really do most of the time.  But the giving permission comes down to "for who or for what?"  Giving permission to be me is distant from me when it's for who or what.  It's not me being me at all.  It's me being for them.  Out of habituation, we wholeheartedly believe we are following what we really want and choose to do, and who we chose to be.  And, when many of us get there, finally reaching our destination, or not even that, but living on that journey, and thinking we're giving ourselves permission to be, we're disappointed, we're befuddled.  Maybe then, just maybe and hopefully then we'll begin to ask "who's plan am I really following?"  "Who's life am I really leading?"

Many of us have a difficult time giving ourselves permission to be who we really want to be, to be something different, to do something out of the ordinary, and sometimes to make change.  Perhaps the real me wants to leave my spouse, move away from the children, quit a job, sell all my personal belongings and my home I've lived in for 25 years and move over seas, or maybe become a pastry chef or school teacher.  Whatever it may be it's within you.  Are you listening to who you really are?  For real?  Are you giving yourself permission to be YOU?

"You can recognize a pioneer by the arrows in his/her back."  
 ~Beverly Rubik

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