Wake Up to Live blog is a resource for personal development, liberation, and women self-empowerment. Wake Up to Live creates awareness about topics such as oppression, sexual violence, childhood abuse, trauma, and the patriarchal social norms. Wake Up to Live discusses the recycled legacy of abuse that must stop and shares restorative measures for mental and emotional health, wellness, and strength for women to develop themselves and succeed.
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The Secret of Existence
The Secret of Existence
From the time we are born, we become dependent on others for our survival. Yet, the Buddha mentions to depend on no one. "Only the moment you reject all help are you freed." This defies everything we have learned in this physical world. Because we have learned this dependency on others since infancy, we have grown used to this concept. Some ideas are: "Mom makes me happy because she spoils me." "I am complete only with my soul-mate." "I am happiest with my friends." Thus, it makes our journey toward independence or towards soulfulness or divinity much more difficult. We are pulling away from something we know; something that is real and tangible. We cannot seem to fathom this concept, so we continue to tug at this idea of "depend on no one," but still we cannot figure it out.
Only until you truly begin to let go of everything you think you know and of everything you think you are, will you be stripped from the image that you think defines you today. This is where the work is involved. It is a hard choice; but it is still your own choice. In this moment, you will have all kinds of internal struggles. The questions and doubts will arise swiftly. "I don't want to cause them emotional pain." "Should I say good-bye or should I stay?" "This is not what a daughter/mother/wife/sister should do." Staying focused on your choice, on your wisdom, will allow you to move through these internal struggles with much more grace and ease. It is not about other peoples drama or qualms or even about your doubts and worries, it is about your existence - the dependence on your Self. Only then, will you be able to see what you truly are and who you are truly intended to be.
In my own experience, understanding death was the most exhilarating and enlightening process I have ever gone through. In the moment there was a lot of fear, desperation, and panic. There was a lot of wanting to hang on to everything - to keep it the same - and, it wasn't exhilarating at all. In fact, it was horrifying. Nonetheless, after struggling through the fear, I finally and truly accepted that life was going to come to an end; and I finally became okay that life was transient knowing that there was nothing in life that I could keep or hold onto. This did not happen over night, though. Yes, I had tears of what I would miss - my boys especially; but I was really okay as long as I resolved to make the most out of each day and with the one's that were important to me without getting hung up on ideas. Basically, the degree of my joy came from me and no other. When I came to this resolution and acceptance of death, somehow my outlook on life changed. Everyone else's demands, concerns, and squabbles became less prominent and less mentally and physically intrusive and, materialism didn't matter anymore. I was able to see more deeply and let go of the chaos.
The thing is, as we continue to live life even after these experiences, everyday troubles and squabbles can get to us again. We can once again loose sight. The heaviness piles up, and we are back to the drawing board of stuck-ness or confusion. Thus, it is important to remember who you are, to stay focused, to go within, to be present to your body and spirit, and to be alert to what thoughts pass through your mind. Letting go or dismissing (rejecting) all help is a continual process of vigilance and the secret of existence. You are responsible for your completeness and happiness, no one else. It's up to you. What's going to make you live your life fully; the way you want it to look? Or will you continue to conform to the idea of how it should be because it was taught (socialized) to you that that is the way it looks?
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On the internet running through blog, Facebook, and IG posts or videos, there is always a wave of the same concepts of discussion each week. One person/business throws out an idea to talk about that week, and then many others (to figure out what they can discuss, post, or video that week) grab onto someone else's topic and put another spin on it. That's it. If you pay close attention to the posts, you will see what I am talking about. Take a look at the weekly discussions and see the uniformity in the topics of discussion, including the quotes that are posted. Perhaps it is coincidental. Perhaps it is collective energetic thought that brings this about. But, in most cases, I'm thinking it may be more about "What do I talk about this week?" and then grab an idea from someone else.
It is difficult to find weekly, let alone daily, topics to discuss and, at the same time, give good value to your audience. I get that. I've done the same thing. I'm guilty, but…
There is no single treatment for complex trauma such as PTSD or Complex PTSD, but the cornerstone of
treatment is building a collaborative working relationship with the survivor.
They need to restore safety and trust in human connection. The major drawbacks
to healing from chronic trauma and C-PTSD is isolation. If individuals
fear coming forward (due to stigma, minimization of the events, delayed
reporting, an oppressive society, self-shame or public shaming) and how they
may react to their environment, they are left to figure things out on their
own. There are many individuals that never receive formal treatment and,
instead, invest in their own methods by trial-and-error. I did because there was nothing out there. Also, anytime I'd go to the doctors office, it was said that "It was all in my head." Back then in the 80's and 90's and early 2000's, no one could see the enduring effects of chronic childhood abuse, repeated sexual assaults…
"Trying to resist, change, or avoid the enormous influence of the past keeps us foolishly focused on it. Yet we're reluctant to leave it behind, reluctant to transform the pervasive hold it has on our present-time lives. Not doing so, however, results in an endless continuum of living a "now" that is littered with the detritus of the past. There is no better arena to watch this play out than in our relationships."~Nancy Zapolski Let's Connect! Click this link DesireeLeigh.com and sign up to receive a FREE eBook about 7 life-changing ways to build internal strength, confidence, and better relationships.