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Why Is Self-Correction Important to Self-Love?

Learning to love oneself takes self-correction.  Whenever we think of self-love, we think about doing things like,  prioritizing oneself being true to oneself being nice to oneself setting boundaries  forgiving oneself saying "no" taking a nap  taking a walk  breathing deeply sitting in stillness eating nutritiously emotional regulation making a gratitude list connecting with friends communicating honestly with others These acts of self-care are all part of growing ones self-love. Engaging in routine self-care has been clinically proven to assist in reducing depression, anxiety, stress, frustration, and anger while increasing happiness and energy and leading to better relationships. When one is in this state of taking care of ones own needs, one is, for example, more appreciative of life. One is taking responsibility for their own health and wellbeing which promotes more self-love.  But how do we take action when we are busy with our family and work, or caught up in ruminatin

Controller, Abusers, & Manipulators

Controllers, Abusers, & Manipulators

 In life, we live among a varied population, so we must be able to recognize when we are in danger.  When you have grown up observing domestic violence, have been the subject of childhood abuse or bullying from your siblings, or have been assaulted in any way, we can either be hypervigilant or on-guard to everyone that is around us or we may be unconscious in recognizing the signs of these characteristics.  I know I have been both, but my underlying characteristic is to be hypervigilant and acutely aware of absolutely everything--every facial expression and every pin dropping.  What's important, though, is to recognize the signs by logically analyzing the situation and also staying connected to your gut feelings.

Remember, many abusers, controllers, and manipulators will make the problem yours and tell everyone in their circle of family and friends (and acquaintances) that 'you' are the problem when in fact you are not.  I can compare this behavior to children in a playground: the bully or the one that abuses goes running to an authority figure 'first' so that they look as if they are the innocent ones.  Anyways, the only way to get support and move beyond being isolated from the people you thought cared about you is to reach out to others that you can trust or a group that has experienced the same sorts of things.

I also want to note that it is not about living in fear or being preoccupied or obsessive regarding the people you are around. (Although you may have this exact behavior immediately after a recent attack, and that is both okay and normal).  Just take note of the signs.  If you are not aware of the 'signs,' your own behavior will never change.  Awareness and understanding of how abusers behave and how they condition or groom their victim is significant, and it is for the safety and well-being of yourself and your family.

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